Humor

Wizard, Genie & Broom

The story goes back to many centuries ago. There was a gentleman called Aladdin living in a small town of erstwhile Baghdad with his wife, two children and parents. The fellow was so careless and lazy that most of the time he would sit idle leaving his wife to fend for the family earning bread and butter. Reeling under the poverty, he remained hand to mouth most of the time. He, however, had a strange hobby of collecting old articles and things. One day, he purchased an old brass lamp from a local kabadi shop on a throw away price and brought it at home. As such, his wife used to scold him for his idle ways and this useless hobby and was not too happy with his new accomplishment.

As against the lazy and idle Aladdin, his wife was quite active at home and would seldom sit idle. So when she was free from the daily chorus, she decided to cleanse the lamp of its dust and oily spots. But to her utter surprise and terror, as soon as she started rubbing the lamp, there was a thud sound with smoke and at the blink of eyes a horrifying figure of a Genie (Jinn) emerged.

The genie growled in a heavy voice, “O My Master! Your wish is my command; now tell me what I should do for you.”

The lady of the house was extremely terrified and nervous with the sudden appearance of this ghastly figure. Instead of talking, she started stammering and ready to run away from the scene. But the Genie threw his body and weight to stop her and repeated his demand. Sensing some commotion in the kitchen area, Aladdin, who was napping outside under the sun, rushed towards the spot to find out the trouble and possibly in a hope he could rescue his wife.

Finding the Genie obstructing the path of the lady, Aladdin tried to intervene and talk reason, “Who are you, boss, and what do you want from us? Look we are genuinely peaceful people!” The Genie simply ignored him and repeated his demand to the lady, “O My Master! Your wish is my command; now tell me what I should do for you.”

Now terrified himself, Aladdin meekly managed to blurt, “Look, Mr Genie, instead of bothering her, why don't you talk to me? As such she has a weak heart and seldom talks to strangers, In fact, I am the master of house.”

The kitchen was congested and the ceiling was too low to allow the Genie to stand in erect posture. The discomfort and irritation was quite obvious on his face that he was not at all happy with the situation. He retorted with obvious dislike, “I don’t care a shit who you are and what you do. All that I know is the subject who keeps this lamp is my master.”

Now he gestured the lady again and this time in a threatening voice, “O My Master! Give me command or else I am going to eat you raw in the next moment.” Aladdin and wife were really scared and profusely sweating even though it was a winter month. Aladdin somehow recovered his senses and managed to whisper to his wife, “Just tell him to bring some jalebi and dahi (curd) from the nearby Hiralal’s sweet shop, and if possible, may be a few samosas with mithi chutni (sauce) as well, if he doesn’t mind.” He remembered his cravings, he had not eaten his favourite breakfast items for many days due to money constraints.

Genie was out of the sight just for a flash of second and was back with plenty of stuff desired by the house lady. Since he was not too happy with the pitiable condition of the master and there was no other immediate business at cards, so the Genie quietly entered the lamp and the couple felt relieved.

Aladdin had cooled down by now and got time to rethink on the entire episode. After eating his favourite jalebis, his mind had also started working and he decided to play his cards to the best of their advantage from now on. It was agreed between the husband and wife that henceforth only Aladdin will rub the lamp with a prior well thought out wish list. They knew their house was too small, shabby and inadequate for the family consisting of the husband, wife, two children and elderly parents. They were also aware that on the first occasion, the Genie was not too happy with the discomfort he had in their congested house. So they decided for the first thing to invoke Genie in the open backyard and ask him for a bigger and better house.

This time the lamp was rubbed by Aladdin. As expected, the Genie appeared with a thud and smoke. This time he ignored the house lady and addressed Aladdin, “O My Master! Your wish is my command; now tell me what I should do for you.”

Aladdin was a bit hesitant man but this time he spoke clearly what he had in mind. The Genie didn’t take long and a duplex ten rooms house with the attached bath and all possible luxuries was in front of the couple. The lady was extremely happy yet she had her own ideas of interiors, so she murmured hesitatingly in a polite tone but the Genie simply snubbed and ignored her. On the other hand, Aladdin was now nervous and scared about what neighbors would say of this overnight windfall, or may be the revenue officials of the state would come to harass them about the source of income and all that. Obviously, they were not prepared to share their new found secret with them, lest the administration may charge them for unauthorisedly holding resources which should have been appropriately reported and deposited to the state treasury as per law of the land. So on a reconsideration, he called the Genie again and settled for a much smaller and affordable house.

Aladdin had a mule but no cart for years which he used for a ride whenever he went to the market or nearby villages. Even this mule was old and often sick, and had died recently leaving Aladdin with no other means for commuting. So next time he asked the Genie to fetch a cart with horse for him. Genie instantly produced a lavish cart driven by four horses leaving Aladdin again in a dilemma about the reaction of neighbors or the state revenue officials so he again settled for an ordinary mule hitherto fore. In a few more encounters, Aladdin also tried to be friends with the Genie offering him home made sweets but he simply carried out orders and disappeared in the lamp every time without responding to his courtesies. Aladdin was increasingly getting a feeling that the Genie was quite dumb and stupid in many matters and ways. Moreover, he was actually not loyal to him but to the owner of the lamp. With some more encounters, he was convinced that the Genie was, in fact, more of a liability and risk rather than an accomplished gain for the family. Despite the Genie's presence, practically the fortune of Aladdin and family had not changed.

Besides, Aladdin was also increasingly finding it difficult to cop up with the growing angularities and idiosyncrasies of the Genie. At times, Genie would simply refuse to enter the lamp and insist him to narrate a story or his childhood experiences. As such, Aladdin didn’t have very memorable childhood and past, besides he was rather poor in narrating stories, so it was quite torturous for him to fabricate imaginary stories and incidents to keep the Genie's spirit high. On one or two occasions when he showed reluctance, the Genie was angry and upset, and Aladdin knew by perception that this situation was very risky, dangerous and unaffordable.

Although his wife was very social, talkative and so keen to chat and tell stories all the time but the Genie would simply ignore or rebuff her, refusing to listen to any person other than his master. Aladdin always had conjugal fantasies like the majority other healthy males and a secret desire of having a younger spouse for enhanced pleasure, comfort and joy. So one day, in privacy he invoked the Genie and made a wish for his wife to be younger by say twenty-five years. His wife was about to turn fifty in the next month, but what Aladdin found in the next moment that the Genie had converted him to a seventy-five year old man rather than making his wife younger. His wife thought he was a trespasser and refused to recognize him till he took pains to convince her of his ill-fated wish and consequent miserable plight. This time, Aladdin was really pissed off and he resolved to find ways to get rid of the Genie before any more mishaps occur. So he approached a wise man (a Saintly Fakir) for advice who gave him the piece of advice to tackle the Genie.

As was preconceived, the next day Aladdin provoked the Genie with the challange that he couldn’t assume a miniature form to enter into a narrow bottle. As soon as Genie entered the bottle, Aladdin promptly put the cork on the bottle. The Genie begged, growled and even threatened him to open the cork but Aladdin didn’t buzz from his resolve and proceeded immediately on a long journey down south to promptly disposed off the Genie along with the bottle into the deep sea.

~* ~

Ever since this episode, hundreds of years passed with the bottle still lying deep into the sea. With the passage of time, it kept drifting with occeanic waves slowly towards the Indian subcontinent.  With the constant wear and tear over the years, the process of the disintegration of the cork also continued till finally on one day a small fish made a dart on the remaining cork at the mouth of bottle and it was open releasing the Genie again. To his pleasant surprise and joy, he was no more prisoner of the wonderful lamp. He struggled to come out of the sea and slowly walked towards the shore to enter the great city Mumbai, so popularly known as the commercial capital of India. On one hand he was so happy to be master of his own but at the same time he was worried about future uncertainties and finding a new home.

In the past, the Genie was accustomed to the conventional oil lamps for lighting, mostly the horses and camels as the mode of travel, carts driven by horses or bullocks for carrying goods and rich people, huts and small houses for the living of commoners and big mansions for the elites and kings. He now found nothing of that sort around. The entire city was looking like a concrete jungle with multi-storied buildings, buzzing humans in colorful clothes, fast moving bikes, cars and other vehicles on roads, and shops and streets under the neon and flood lights. He was very nervous and puzzled for he was not familiar with the most of these things. Then he noticed a long and huge metallic cart like thing running on two parallel tracks without any horses or bullocks and a huge bird like object flying in the sky. On a hesitant enquiry, a passerby gave the Genie a strange and contemptuous look at his attire but clarified him that they were actually a passenger train and airplane, respectively.

In short, the Genie found a whole lot of things quite strange and new, and himself totally out of place in the city. Unsure about what he should do or where he should go, perplexed he was so he quietly climbed up on the roof of such a running cart (train) taking cover of the darkness of night. as such he was very tired, so soon he slept till following morning when he reached this city, which people were talking and addressing as Delhi, the national capital of India.

He found his huge body was in a terrible mess and totally misfit and out of place in the current environment, so he frantically looked for a shelter lest people may see and ridicule or chase after him. On getting down, the first thing he noticed appeared a familiar object that he had seen in his previous master’s house too. With this, the house lady used to regularly clean the dust of the house and was also occasionally using it to energize and activate the otherwise so lazy and idle husband. He knew this was a broom which was lying totally neglected and unclaimed in the corner of a wall of the nearby building. Driven by an instant impulse, the Genie considered this broom as an ideal hide and safe cover for the time being till he finds a better home or decides his next move. He kept hiding in the broom for many days till on a fateful day he was picked up by this famous wizard who had, by now, earned enough name and fame for his magical powers and feats among common man in the territory. The new dawn and a journey was about to begin for the Wizard and the Genie as well.

~*~

A majority people know the power, significance and uses of a broom. Since ages, the house ladies and of course many gentlemen too have been using it for the purpose of cleaning the house, courtyard and cobwebs. Some ladies also use it occasionally to discipline their idle and errand husbands. Then it has many uses for the cleaning staff of the municipality. The workers use it for cleaning the roads and streets, warding off stray and hostile dogs and cattles, and for sitting in open while free and at rest. Besides if there is a dispute or quarrel, it also serves as a handy weapon to ward off a potential adversary. In a nutshell it can easily be valued for its multi-uses with any common man.

For the last many months, the Wizard was very upset with the corruption and dishonesty in the contemporary society. His main worry and crib was that the entire system and governance has gone hanky dory. While his heart and soul bleeds only for the common man, incidentally he remains the only man with impeccable integrity around who has made his life’s mission to save the common man from the corrupt and inefficient people in the governance. Unfortunately, the gentleman called ‘common man’ is absolutely bechara (helpless) since ages and needs constant protection and all sorts of concessions and freebies for a comfortable living. So the Wizard has resolved to make a common cause with the common man and fight for their rights and concessions even if he has to make any sacrifice or made to die hundred times.

The Wizard had been frantically looking for a source and symbol of strength and courage for a long time. Considering the virtues of a broom as illustrated above, the idea flashed to his mind that none other than the broom could ever be such a source of sustained courage and strength in his fight against corruption for the cause of the common man. It was perhaps a destiny or luck would have it that the Wizard happened to pick up the same broom in which our friend Genie was hiding. Those who are aware of the numerous stories of witches with brooms, would easily guess how powerful and deadly combination could be the 'Wizard with a Wonderful Broom'.

Initially the Genie was a bit skeptic but now he had started enjoying the company of the Wizard and the broom. He knew well that empowered with his powers, the ordinary broom shall easily turn into a miraculous broom. Needless to repeat the initial encounters of the Wizard with the Genie, contrary to the miscerable plight of Aladdin, the Wizard actually found himself absolutely blessed and empowered while the Genie too has found a permanent place to live and experiment with his erstwhile miraculous yet dormant powers. So both of them have now found a vision and mission to live in a perfect symbiotic relationship and harmony.

The Genie comes out on a command, performs the assigned popular task or trick and hides back in the broom remaining invisible all the time for he also knows that people these days don’t have much belief and faith in jinns and fairies. He has grown wise with time and wants to avoid at all cost the earlier mistake of getting in a bottle and corked up. Of late, together the Wizard and Genie have created many wonders and commendable tasks for the larger benefit and welfare of the common man.

 

~*~

One fine morning, the Wizard shook the broom, the Genie appeared and the former made a wish to be made king of the capital territory and he indeed became the king within no time, a feat accomplished beyond imagination of friends and foes alike. For the Wizard, it was a dream accomplished while the Genie was so happy that his miraculous powers are still intact and indeed working.

As the wizard’s heart and soul bleeds and cries only for the common man and his cause, so one day the Wizard made a wish that the houses of the common man be lighted with the electricity at the minimal prices. Genie came out to play the magic and the locks of the treasury were indeed open to bear the cost for the common man. Now both the Wizard and common man are happy and the Genie is in all smiles for this accomplishment. Only rival wizards and one or so crony capitalist are unhappy and sulking.

Another day the wizard decided to open a helpline to catch all the corrupt fishes and crocodiles in the society seeking chara (bribery) from the common man. Out from the broom, the Genie worked incessantly to see that necessary arrangements are made forthwith with a live helpline created for round the clock working. It received such an overwhelming response from the common man that the line was choked and communication broke within no time. Notwithstanding many common men were trained and enlightened how to carry out a sting operation to catch corrupt fishes and crocodiles while taking chara in camera in the deep waters, otherwise such a complicated procedure made so simple and convenient.

Of course, a few media channels gave jerky response (obviously out of sheer envy!) as they claim to have already patented the art of sting operation but our Wizard dismissed the idea.  He knows that technicalities and trivial issues don't really matter for a good cause so he only cares and abides by the constitution of the land. Out of sheer enthusiasm, the Genie had also taken a long jump making overnight efforts to put placards and posters around highlighting how the fishes are now scared of taking chara from the common man and how the corruption has drastically gone down to a new low. Both the Wizard and common man are celebrating and the Genie is in quiet bliss enjoying the achievement while peeking out from within the broom. Rival wizards as usual are on a spree of criticism to embarrass the move and many say the claim is so presumptuous and preposterous.

Yet another day, the Wizard came out with the idea of a darbar (court) for the common man the way Moghuls and some kings used to do in the past. The darbar was indeed organized, thanks to the tireless efforts of the Genie and the broom, on the roadside much like a fete and tens of thousands of common men participated even on a short notice. The Genie was taken by surprise at the last minute as the ill-famed city security became barrier and spoilers of the show. Despite this conspiracy from the enemies’ camp, the show was a unique and thumping success when the broom came for the rescue and prompted the Wizard to climb up on the roof top to dispose of the balance business from there in one sitting. Other than the Wizard, none would ever appreciate the unseen hands of the Genie behind the tremendous success of the event which left no room or need for another darbar.

While working and addressing the common man from the roof top, the Wizard has learnt certain benefits it accrued and this will sure help him in addressing the grievances of the common man in future too. Following categoric learning and benefits have emerged from the maiden attempt of addressing common man from the roof top:

  1. Every common man had the benefit of a clear view of the Wizard;
  2. It proved to be a good austerity measure too. The Wizard created a paradigm shift by saving a lot of money for the common man, which would have been otherwise wasted on erection of a temporary or permanent stage or podium, fencing etc;
  3. One would be safe from a possible reach of the rotten tomatoes, eggs, slippers etc. which stooges of the rival wizards or some crony capitalist may prefer to try some times.

These are a few illustrations of many welfare measures undertaken by the Wizard in a short time for the cause of the common man, thanks to the active support and collaboration from now much enlightened Genie and broom. The Wizard is too wise and the Genie is increasingly getting wiser. For instance, now the Genie never sulks in the past memories for he has understood that compared to Aladdin and the lamp, the Wizard and the broom are for better a choice as a master and a safe shelter.

In fact, in the beginning itself the Wizard had warned the Genie, “Look, if you want to live with me, you need to learn quite a few lessons of manners and etiquette. Then you should also learn the dynamics of the dharna and fasting, the most potent tools in the modern times to unleash enough anarchy for achieving intended objectives rather than making useless other conventional methods and weapons. Unless you are aware of it and achieve enough proficiency, you will be of no use when I have to sit on a dharna and fasting for days.”

The wizard earnestly feels that one commodity namely honesty is really deficient and in short supply these days. Besides he believes that he remains the last bastion of the honesty and only hope left for the humanity and common man in this land. So instead of relying much on the milestones of development or progress and a futuristic vision, he mainly focuses on honesty. He is on the mission to take along like-minded wizards with brooms, with honesty as the only precondition, to join his movement for the larger benefit and prosperity of the self and common man. In fitness of the things, he has relinquished his already achieved territorial gains for his larger consolidation plan in the greater length and breadth of this land.

The wizard is also convinced that actually the common man is very very important person (VVIP) so keeping him on priority, and in good humour, on his agenda and welfare list is a must to achieve end goals. So in his public utterances, he makes it clear umpteen times that the integrity of every common man is above board, besides ninety-nine percent businessmen and industrialists also mean a honest business. It is only all rival wizards and one or so crony capitalists who are real crooks and dishonest people. So he has taken a pledge and firm resolve to die thousand times, if necessary, to eliminate their bad influence to save the common man.

The Wizard is out to clean the system and bring swaraj (self-rule) in the land and, needless to mention, the Genie and broom are his mainstay to achieve this holy mission and goal. The Genie has now a more stable life with a permanent abode in the broom. Like every dog has a day, the otherwise neglected broom too is in high spirits these days with its new found glory. On the other hand, the common man at the moment appears to be really enjoying the fun.

19-Feb-2014

More by :  Dr. Jaipal Singh

Top | Humor

Views: 3494      Comments: 2



Comment Thanks for compliments, Sonalika JI.

jairathore
08-Jan-2015 23:54 PM

Comment Awesome! Wonderful piece!
Great wit, humor and of course the satire and irony

Sonalika
08-Jan-2015 12:48 PM




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