Humor   
Banking Blues

The other day a pot-bellied banker knocked at the door of a H.N.W.I. (High Net Worth Individual) to canvass business for his bank. The H.N.W.I. got the shock of his life for he never expected a blue-blooded public sector banker to approach him for business. Hardly an hour ago a suited and booted new-generation banker had approached him with a similar business proposition. After recovering from the shock our H.N.W.I. asked the public sector banker what brought about the transformation from a staid pen-pushing, rule-quoting old-timer into an aggressive customer-oriented wannabe banking professional. "Our spreads are fast disappearing ,sir ", our banker friend said ," Unless we build up volumes, we will soon be dead as dodos". The H.N.W.I. took a hard look at the banker's prosperous figure wondering if it is really true that spreads have been fast disappearing .The H.N.W.I. asked him if he was really serious about the business proposition .The banker replied in gushing enthusiasm that his bank would be happy to clinch the deal .He reeled out the merits of his proposition and apparently convinced the potential customer that his deal was certainly better than the other banker's. 

The customer was thrilled .He told the banker that the deal was on. He asked him when he could draw the money. The banker hemmed and hawed and told him that he had to comply with a few minimum requirements before sanction. The requirements are as under: 

1. Income-tax and wealth tax assessment orders for the previous three years 

2. Profit and loss and balance sheets for the last three years 

3. Funds flow statements for the last three years 

4. Projected cash flow statements for the next 5years 

5. Age-wise list of sundry creditors and sundry debtors 

6. Details of the net worth of the guarantors with survey numbers etc. of the properties 

7. Such other data as may be called by the bank during processing of the loan proposal 

The customer queried as to the time by which money will be in his hand .The banker replied that subject to the receipt of all the requisite data and satisfactory replies to all the queries to be raised by the appraising officer the loan would take approximately 15 days .That is, after the date on which all the data are received. 

Enquiries later revealed that the suited and booted gentleman had clinched the deal on the following day.    

– A.J. Rao
November 18, 2001

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