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Humor / Satire
The Hari Putar Dialogues – 13
by
Rajesh Talwar
(The
Independent, 8th July, Hokaido:
World leaders are not renowned for their modest wine selections or
reticence at the G8 summit’s cheese board. True to form, discussing the
global food crisis was clearly hungry work that left their stomachs
rumbling. The global food shortage was not evident. As the champagne
flowed, the couples enjoyed 18 “higher-quality ingredients”, beginning
with amuse-bouche of corn stuffed with caviar, smoked salmon and sea
urchin pain-surprise-style, hot onion tart and winter lily bulbs.)
Putar:
According to a story in The Independent today the world leaders present
at the G 8 summit in Hokaido wined and dined in style while discussing
the global food crisis.
Hari: That’s not surprising, putar. The world leaders need food
for thought.
Putar: It is said that Britain spent 65 million pounds on the Gleneagles
summit three years ago.
Hari: Not difficult to believe, putar.
Putar: But in terms of hosting a grand event with lavish dining the
Japanese have upstaged the Brits at the Summit. The total cost of
staging the event on Japan’s northern island of Hokkaido is estimated at
285 million pounds. That is more than three times the amount spent at
Gleneagles.
Hari: That is correct, putar. Given the present low value of the
US dollar that would amount to more than half a billion dollars.
Putar: If things continue in this fashion the next summit could
conceivably involve an expense of a billion dollars. In India, two or
even three people can share a good meal for just a dollar. A billion
dollars could provide a meal for three billion people. In other words
roughly half the worlds population could enjoy a good Indian curry for
that kind of money.
Hari: But don’t forget, putar, that the world leaders are not
only addressing the food crisis. There are so many other pressing global
problems weighing on their minds, such as issues concerning health.
Putar: According to some estimates the money spent by the Japanese is
enough to buy 100 million mosquito nets.
Hari: If a mosquito net costs between five to six dollars, that should
be a fair calculation.
Putar: And so many millions of mosquito nets would help reduce deaths
from malaria. That would address health issues, wouldn’t it?
Hari: That’s true, putar. But it’s not only food and health they
are concerned about. At the summit, the Japanese have spoken of the need
to combat climate change and desertification.
Putar: If it costs five dollars to buy a mosquito net, it probably costs
much less to plant a sapling. For half a billion dollars, at half a
dollar a piece, a billion trees could have been planted. That would have
helped combat climate change and desertification.
Hari: That’s true, but what do you want the world leaders to do? Starve?
Putar: They could have missed a meal out of solidarity for the people
affected by the food crisis.
Hari: Missed a meal and continued to eat exotic food such as caviar and
sea urchin the rest of the time.
Putar: I hear that the British Prime Minister was very upset to learn
that a British family on average throws away thousands of pounds of food
every year. That concern didn’t stop him though from joining his fellow
G8 premiers and their wives for an eight-course Marie Antoinette-style
“Blessings of the Earth and the Sea Social Dinner”, courtesy of the
Japanese government.
Hari: I
wonder what kind of food was served?
Putar:
(reads) A folding fan-modeled tray decorated with bamboo grasses carried
eight delicacies: kelp-flavored cold Kyoto beef shabu-shabu, with
asparagus dressed with sesame cream; diced fatty flesh of tuna fish,
with avocado and jellied soy sauce and the Japanese herb shiso; boiled
clam, tomato and shiso in jellied clear soup of clam; water shield and
pink conger dressed with a vinegary soy sauce; boiled prawn with jellied
tosazu-vinegar; grilled eel rolled around burdock strip; sweet potato;
and fried and seasoned goby with soy sauce and sugar…And of course there
is much more that followed.
Hari: That
sounds delicious.
Putar: I
don’t suppose any whale food was provided. Can’t see any mention of it.
Hari: No, of
course not. Japanese only hunt whales for scientific purposes.
Putar: Even
if they catch a thousand whales a year. That’s a lot of whale.
Hari: That’s
a lot of science.
Putar: The
spread before the G 8 sounds like a lot of food for thought, Papaji.
Apparently, sixty chefs were flown in for the occasion, foremost among
them the Michelin-starred Katsuhiro Nakamura.
Hari: I’m sure the G 8 will come up with lots of good suggestions,
putar.
Putar: Such
as people should eat less and not waste food.
Hari: That is
a good suggestion, putar.
Putar: Tell me something, Papaji?
Hari: Bol, putar?
Putar: What does the G in G 8 stand for?
Hari: I think it stands for Group of 8 countries, putar.
Putar: Or could it be that the G in G 8 stands for the Generous 8?
Hari: I don’t think so, putar. Don’t forget that they reneged on
aid promises given at Gleneagles?
Putar: Could it be then that the G in G 8 stands for the Gastronomic 8?
Hari: I don’t know, putar.
July 13, 2008
Hari Putar Dialogues
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