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Humor /Satire Chapter 16 �Good evening, Lalaji,� said the vulture. �Good evening, Laddoo. How are you? Seeing you after a long time. Take a seat.� �I am fine, Lalaji. I just came for your darshan.� �My darshan? Why, Samaj Sewak has gone on a foreign trip or what?� �Ha, ha,� sniggered Laddoo. �I always appreciated your fine sense of humour.� �Tell me, what brings you here?� �Lalaji, CM himself has sent me to talk to you.� �What about?� �Lalaji, what is this we hear about Congress Alpha and you?� �Some like-minded individuals who were sick of the impotence, inefficiency and ineffectiveness of the present Government have formed a new party called Congress Alpha. I am the General Secretary of the party.� �But, Lalaji you should have at least told us. CM felt very hurt. He came to know of it only from the newspaper.� �He felt hurt! Serves him right. Has he ever bothered about my feelings and aspirations?� �But, Lalaji, you were always treated with the utmost respect in Janata Khichdi. You were always regarded as a senior member whose experience and advice were held in the highest esteem.� �Yes, a senior members who was good enough only for the Ministry of Child Welfare.� �But, Lalaji, we thought you were very happy in that Ministry.� �Don�t talk like a donkey, Laddoo. How can a person of my eminence be happy in that stupid Ministry where the only job I had was to attend functions in tribal schools as a chief guest and preside over one idiotic seminar or the other? You know how much I had spent in the last election? More than two crores. And all that money I had got as donations from various industrialists liquor barons, contractors and grain merchants. I had promised them government quotas and licences thinking that I would get Industry or Finance.� �But, Lalaji, these ministries were never promised to you.� �Don�t talk bakwas, Laddoo. You know that after the election results were declared Samaj Sewak needed 43 MLAs to form the Government. I had 48 with me. At night around twelve thirty he came to me with folded hands. He sat exactly where you are sitting and begged me to join his party along with my men. He said I could get either Industry or Finance, the choice was mine. I opted for Industry and he readily agreed. After my joining he kept Industry with him telling me that he would give it to me in the first reshuffle. Finance he had already given to his sala Natwarlal. Then gradually, by giving various sops, he weaned away my followers one by one. In the first reshuffle I found that Industry was given to his son - what�s-is-name-that stupid looking fellow with long hair and buck teeth � � �Barfi!� Laddoo said. �Yes, Barfi. At that juncture I hinted that I would be satisfied if I was made the President of the party. That too was denied to me and Samaj Sewak�s younger son Kachori was made the party President. And yours faithfully Lala was given Child Welfare. Sala, luchha, haraami, your bloody CM is a crook. And in this election I will ensure that his face is smeared with dung.� �Easy, Lalaji, easy. I didn�t know all this had happened I am really very sorry. On behalf of CM I apologise. But, sir, are you sure in Congress Alpha your aspirations will be fulfilled?� �Of course. This time I am not taking any chances. Garam Singh has promised me the post of Deputy chief Minister with additional charge of Industry, Commerce and Finance�. �But, Lalaji, how do you know he will not backtrack like CM?� �Listen, Laddoo, 112 of my followers have been given tickets. They are all originally from my district. Half of them are my relatives while the other half belong to my caste. Out of 112, even if 56 win then my position will be pretty strong. If Garam Singh refuses I will sit in the opposition. He will not be able to form a Government without me. And moreover, this time I am not going to wait for the first reshuffle or anything like that. Right on day one if I am not given my due I walk out.� �But, Lalaji, there is a very strong rumour that Dude is after the post of deputy Chief Minister.� �No, no, he has been made the Party President and he is quite happy.� �I don�t think so, Lalaji. I know his close friend. He was telling me that Dude and GS want to use you and then chuck you out.� Lala got up frowning and began pacing the floor. �Achha, these rascals are planning to ditch me! We�ll see.� �Lalaji, I have an offer. You contest on the Congress Alpha ticket. We will field our weakest candidates against your followers. I am sure no party is going to get a majority and we will have a hung assembly. And when this happens, please join us. We�ll give you Finance, Industries or whatever you want. Even if you want to become Deputy Chief Minister there will not be any problem.� �But, Laddoo, what about Natwarlal, Barfi and Kachori?� �They will be no competition to you. Both Barfi and Kachori have joined hands against their Mama Natwarlal. He might not even get a ticket this time. Even Barfi and Kachori�s position is a bit shaky this time after the two scandals.� �What scandals.� �You didn�t know? Barfi was accused of raping a tribal girl. We had to spend five lakh rupees to hush up the case.� �And Kachori?� �Kachori landed in a mess in a real estate deal. He took a hefty commission and granted permission for setting up a distillery on a plot of land which belonged to a church. There was a hue and cry and it took all of SS�s resources and cunning to get him out of the mess.� �Achha, very good, very good.� Laddoo got up. �So, Lalaji, please remember.� �Of course, of course.� Laddoo touched Lala�s feet and left. Page 1 |
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| 19 | 20 June 10, 2007 |
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