|
|
Humor
Miss Star and Misses
by
Julia Dutta
Swarup Mondol
stood at the mirror dabbing his nose with Ponds Talcum powder. He had
had a bath just a few moments ago and was getting ready to leave for
work. He tightened the trouser over his white shirt and turned sideways
to view himself. His paunch jetted out a bit. He drew his breath in. It
helped to reduce its protruding size. Smiling to himself, he now took
the new bottle of Charlie perfume, which he had bought from “Jamaibabu’s
Aayojon” a shop in Gariahat, only last evening. A generous amount of
spray filled the room with fragrance. He made one last stroke on his
oiled and combed hair and uttered with relief –
“ Besh”!
In the kitchen, his wife Parul got the whiff of the new perfume and
rushed to the bedroom where the dressing table was. At the moment, she
drew the curtain to the bedroom, Swarup had just uttered the word - “
Besh”
Parul scrutinized her husband of ten years closely. She had been doing
it for the last two weeks, ever since she found him suddenly change; he
had bought himself some new underwear even though it was only two months
ago that she bought half a dozen of them for him. Still?! He had also
become very generous with his money. When she wanted to buy that new
silk sari and the accompanying gold necklace from P C Chandra, all
amounting to a good forty thousand rupees, he had no objection at all.
Ordinarily, he would want to know why. He would delay the matter and try
to make her forget all about it. And now this Charlie perfume which he
wore confirmed her worst fears. Yes! It is so, she thought.
In fact she had even confided to his best friend, Tapan Biswas.
“ There is something! I can tell you, there is something!” she had cried
to Tapanbabu.
Presently, Swarup saw his wife in the mirror and hurried towards the
door –
“ So is the lunch ready. I am late for office.”
It had been one of those very strange things that happen to people who
have just started to use Internet. Swarup worked in Canara Bank on Park
Street right opposite Music House. Last year his office had gone through
a complete makeover and everything was computerized. Having gone though
tech-phobia, fever and rise in BP, he had finally settled down to the
newness of technology and even begun to like it. In fact, the real word
is, love it. He experimented with the Internet and finally met one Miss
Star in the chat room. The office hours now turned to lively chats and
slowly, it became apparent to both, Miss Star and Swarup, that there was
electricity between them. In fact, Miss Star was an eligible spinster in
her early thirties and Swarup lied he was still footloose and
fancy-free. Well, almost. Miss Star had sent him a smiley meaning to say
she was flattered.
Meanwhile, the conversations between Parul and Tapanbabu, who called
regularly to speak to her and give her emotional support, had become
uncomfortably close. Parul was hardly aware therefore, when a shift in
heart happened and when, in her mind Tapanbabu became Tapan only. The
receiver shook in her hand everytime, he called. She trembled with
excitement. She knew her heart had found a new home.
“ So what,” she had thought to herself, “ after all Swarup is also
engaged elsewhere….has he thought about me? Why should I?”
Swarup noticed no change in his wife. He was too busy mentally, what
with this new love in his life and all. Conversations with this Miss
Star were very promising indeed, bringing an intoxicating rush of
adrenaline in his brain.
“ It’s like a new lease of life.” he admitted to himself.
The stand from where he took his bus everyday – C-1 to Park Street was
crowded today. Swarup stood in the hot sun, cool as cucumber. It had all
been fixed. Today was the day – 14th February. He was going to meet Miss
Star for the first time. He had tried to ask her for her real name many
times; even her picture, but she had refused to give it.
“ Never mind” Swarup had thought. “ She was such a beautiful woman in
words, she would most certainly be as beautiful in person”. He was going
to leave office at 3pm that afternoon. The place where they planned to
meet was central, yet somewhat concealed. Priyam Restaurant, on the
first floor, right at Gol Park, Gariahat. He would be arriving half an
hour earlier and would leave his name at the counter. As soon as she
arrived, she was to make enquiry at the counter and be lead to him. As
requested by Miss Star, he also wore a soft pink shirt. This way there
was no possibility of missing him, she had argued.
At exactly 3.30pm Swarup was at the Restaurant counter
He flashed his visiting card to the Manager –
“ I am expecting a lady to meet me here. She will be coming soon and
asking for me. Please direct her to me….”
Swarup dashed off to the Cloakroom for that last touch up. He washed his
face and wiped it dry with his hanky. Then he pulled out his comb from
the back pocket of his trouser and combed his hair, touching it
occasionally to flatten it or make a little arch above his forehead.
Once satisfied, he tucked the comb and hanky into his pocket and ejected
out of the Cloakroom.
What he saw in front of him caused him slip back into the Cloakroom in a
hurry. His wife, Parul had just entered the restaurant, escorted by none
other than his best friend Tapan. They were laughing with infectious
closeness and settled down at a table, which was positioned in such a
manner that even if he had slid out of the Cloakroom like a thief, he
would not have been able to avoid their glance. He was damned! He
scratched his head and came up with a good idea – he was going to walk
behind a waiter slyly and slip out of the restaurant. On the way, he was
going to slip a chit to the Manager of the Restaurant, asking him to
guide Miss Star out of the restaurant, as soon as she arrived. Swarup
would be waiting for her downstairs.
He tried to wave a hanky at the waiter passing by but his strange
movements only drew giggles from the men in the Cloakroom. Swarup began
to sweat profusely. To make things worst, from the corner of his eyes he
saw a beautiful lady arriving and going straight up to the counter. She
addressed the Manager, who drew out the card he had been given. Words
passed. The Manager nodded and looked around the restaurant. Swarup
waved out frantically to the Manager from inside the Cloakroom. Men
inside began to snigger.
“ May I help you?” said one, trying to keep a straight face.
Swarup tried to put up a feeble smile.
“Please ask a waiter to come here”. Swarup said looking very distracted.
He had begun to feel the sweat trickle down his back and his head
throbbed. Just at that moment he heard a shrill shriek which he
recognized to have emitted out from his wife’s throat.
He slipped further inside the Cloakroom but not before he saw his wife
jumping up from her seat and dashing out to meet the lady who had just
come in.
“ Jaya!” She screeched, “ After so many years! How have you been?”
Swarup mouth fell open. In the next few moments, he watched with
complete amazement the goings on near the counter. The lady in question,
quite obviously, Miss Star and his wife fell into a long-lost-friends
embrace.
“ Have you come to meet someone?” Parul asked Jaya.
Jaya, ( Miss Star) looked uneasily at the Manager, who now stood up and
stretched his neck giving the restaurant a thorough look. His eyes
suddenly fell on a frantic Swarup still waving a hanky from inside the
Cloakroom. A silent communication passed between the two men and the
restaurant Manager read the panic in Swarup’s now saucer-sized eyes and
the index finger pushing against his pursed lips
“ I am afraid, Madam” he said slipping the visiting card into his
pocket, “ no one of your description seems to have come here yet.”
Miss Star looked dejected. Turning to Parul she said,
“ Yes, but I think he has given me a miss!”
“ Oh dear! Never mind, join us for a cup of coffee instead”.
Jaya thought for a while –
“ Why not?” she said with a smile, “ I suspect my date with the other
will remain forever a cup of cyber friendship!”
April 8, 2007
Top
|
Humor
|
|
