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Love Letters
69 and 75
 It
was quite a bleak day for me when I heard the news that Ismail Merchant
(famous film-maker of Merchant Ivory Productions) died of a heart-attack
at the age of 69 and Sunil Dutt also passed away at the age of 75, after a
brief illness.
And in fact, today on the TV, they were showing a song from Padosan, and
it seemed as if I was seeing a grave-yard of noble souls who have left
this abode on earth, and gone to Heaven, I suppose...
And yet they've left behind their immense talent and sweetness for us to
savour in their absence, and remember them with nostalgia in our eyes, and
reverence in our hearts...
 The Padosan song was picturised on Sunil Dutt, Mehmood and Kishore Kumar,
and of course, Saira Banu...out of the 4 artistes, the 1st 3 are no longer
with us, may Saira live long...she was my fav. actress of yesteryears,
because I always found her very gorgeous and mischievious in her roles..!
more like me, chulbuli, fun-loving kind...so I could always relate to her
flirtatious roles..!
And yesterday on hearing about these 2 sad demises, I was thinking that
the world just goes on, and lives on, except time standing still for the
bereaved friends and families of the departed soul...so the sun rose and
set as usual, the birds chirped, the trees were living too, the flowers
bloomed...nothing was unusual about yesterday, which made me feel that the
earth does not grieve for its inhabitants when they pass away...
That is why when disasters strike at the other end of the world, there
could be catastrophe at that end, with thousands of deaths and injuries
due to natural forces like earthquake, volcano, cyclone, or Tsunami...
Yet on this end, we can only see and think of the whole event with awe and
trepidation, but life goes on as usual...with people going to office,
children to school and housewives at home...
I wonder how old people at the fag end of their lives await death...do
they look forward to every new day as a God's blessing, for they have
lived one day more, and being able to see their near and dear ones, esp.
if they are positive people hoping to live long...
Or every night, do they pray to God, that this be their last night, and
they could die peacefully in their sleep...may be, such people would be
the ones who have lost the charm of living any more, because they have
lived to their full, and enjoyed life to their fullest, so they are
contented to die any moment when death embraces them...
Or may be, such people could be going through terrible depression and
loneliness, that old age often brings about due to senility and an ailing
body, so they want death to relieve them of all their mental and physical
agony...
I wonder which of these categories do my parents, or your parents fall
into...these are too personal questions to be asked...and painful
too...for it reflects the inner-most thoughts and feelings of old people
like our parents, and many other such aging parents living on this earth,
awaiting their turn for death...
Even though I know, that we as middle-aged young people do think about the
mystery of death, they as old people must be thinking about it all the
more, as by law of nature, death comes in old age, unless people die
untimely due to accidents, mishaps, suicides or homicides...
The only reality being that we do not discuss such sensitive issues in our
day to day conversation, as they are very morbid in nature, and can lead
to pessimism and sentimentality...
Anyway, far from these depressing death thoughts, let me tell you Love,
that I called you up the second time today, because the moment I kept the
phone down after our first conversation, I was again in tears...stupidly
crying away...
So the second time I called you up, in search of the 'feel good' feeling,
as I hardly get to talk to you, I may have made many calls to you in the
past, but I have had very few chat sessions with you, either because of
your work or colleagues, or clients, or you being at lunch, or you
driving, or you being at your ATM...so I always return back thirsty and
unfulfilled as ever before...
Because the day, I enjoy a good chat with you, I feel so blessed...
~ I remain,
forever yours,
–
Aparna Chatterjee
August 7, 2005
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