Encouragement is the greatest tool available to adults to boost children's self-esteem. It is through encouragement that we lead others to achieve greater things than they thought possible. 

The great psychologist Rudolph Dreikers once said, "Like a plant needs water children need encouragement." Encouragement literally means to 'give heart'. If you are unsure how to encourage your child then think back to how you encouraged him when he was trying to walk. In all likelihood you encouraged and urged your child so hard that you nearly pulled him up with your will. You didn't criticize him because he fell over. You urged him to get up and have another try and you communicated through your behavior that you knew that he could do it.

Are you still an encourager to your child?  Do you focus your positive language on your child's efforts, point out his improvement, show your appreciation for his contribution and show your confidence in his abilities? Do you encourage your child three times a day?

Encouragement is powerful and has a snowball effect on children's self-esteem. You may know this, but do you do it? You need to say the right words and show your child through your treatment of him that you believe he is capable and able to achieve. Oddly enough it is often easier to encourage other people's children than our own. The emotional intensity gets in the way. Every child needs someone in his life who says, "I know you can do this." 

Four types of encouraging language to use every day:

1. Focus on effort -
   It is great to see you trying to....

2. Focus on improvement -
   You have improved in.....

3. Shows appreciation -
   Thanks for helping me....

4. Displays confidence -
   I know you can do this....

– Michael Grose
May 31, 2001

By arrangement with Parenting Ideas    

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