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Parenting   
Why do we have Kids!
by Meera Chowdhry 

The other day I was reading an article on MSN raising a question, “Why it is that people are continually investing in the heaviest unprofitable venture - children?" Over a period of 17 years each parent for each child spends thousands of dollars, depending upon their income. Sometimes, even to the tune of hundreds of thousand. Besides being expensive, the studies show that raising kids is one of the most stressful jobs. Right from the birth and small sickness to the teen years and not even until establishing their successful career. The worry does not end after their marriage – it only changes its course. The causes of pain are different now. Why is it that we crave to have children?

Why do we do anything for that matter? Why an actor who has made big already struggles to stay on top or be famous? Why a philanthropist gives away his treasures? Why a father works harder and harder to provide for his children? Why a mother loves her child selflessly? Because we like it! Fortunately, even today, lots of things we do and enjoy are not about money. This is the need of the soul. Thank God for these emotions, that we are still going strong. We are humans and not machines. Other wise the world has become so much business like.

It’s true that raising children is very stressful. But the day my daughter left home, I surprised my family by breaking the norm of not putting any picture on the walls. Her photo went on the strategic wall where I could see her almost doing anything. Even the thought of her brings a fresh breeze of joy on my face. The studies show that people who do not have children are happy. I can’t imagine how any one can possibly miss something that he hasn’t experienced. People who do not have children don’t know the endless joy children bring – way too much to surpass the stress they bring with them. It doesn’t end there! I hear from everyone, wait until you become a grand parent!  Everyday, I see my colleagues who are already grandparents, go around showing off pictures of their grand children. It is an immense bliss.

And besides, how can we be so selfish and think of only our future, comfort and material happiness – what about our obligation towards nature. A seed fallen into earth sprouts and gives birth to a sapling which in turn becomes a tree and dedicates it’s life towards the benefit of humans. The Hindu’s believe a man and a woman together repay this earth by becoming parents. Becoming parent is a very holy experience; it’s not like giving birth as an outcome of sexual pleasure that ends your responsibility. It’s an experience which ends with one’s life itself. It’s a total dedication not just towards your child but also towards this society. It’s your contribution in making good citizens and in your effort to make this world a better place.

Once a couple sets mind to start a family they wait anxiously to get a confirmation. One can imagine the amount of incomparable joy it gives. Just the fact, “We are pregnant!” I remember, when I got married, till I became pregnant, the only predictable question from the family was – When? Nothing much has changed, ever since my daughter-in-law has got the confirmation from her doctor, I see glow and immense happiness on her face all the time - priceless. In fact, I some times envy and wish I could enjoy the anticipation of motherhood as much as she does. I was asked to accompany them to the sonogram. Boy! Was it amazing!

One cannot answer this question of why one wants children unless he or she has experienced the ecstasy. It’s a different kind of joy that can’t be explained. It’s a kind of sharing with your child that is out of this world. A mother can even communicate with her children miles away merely through her thoughts. It’s a bond that one feels so grateful for towards God for giving it to us. It’s a pain that a parent feels for his child’s suffering (God forbid) that is beyond imagination. It’s a love that’s superior to any kind of love between people.

April 2, 2006

Top | Parenting   

The Week of April 2, 2006     
In Indira's Footsteps: Will History Repeat Itself? by Rajinder Puri
Wardrobe Malfunction - of Splits, Slips and More! by Usha Kakkar  
Weakness & Selfishness – Reluctant Parents of Virtue by Gaurang Bhatt, MD
Freedom by Naira Yaqoob  
How to Overcome Failure? by Sugandha Indulkar 
The First Line of Defense by Michael Levy 
Helping Your Unpopular Child by Garima Gupta 
Is Your 8 - 10 Year Old Crazy? by Gary Direnfeld 
Why do we have Kids! by Meera Chowdhry 
Child out of School is a Laborer by Malvika Kaul 
The Water Bridge A Short Story by NS Murty  
And, The Bell Rang A Story by Raghvendra Singh 
Saving our Life-Support System by William C. Gladish
Will the Creation of One World Solve the Problems of Today? by TA Ramesh
Neo Imperialism at its Best by Tahir Raj Bhasin 
Homeopathy: In a Realm of Its Own by Rajgopal Nidamboor 
The Homeopathic Treatment of Asthma by Dr. Muneeb Faraaz 
The Omega 3 Code by Neeta Lal
Risky Reconstruction & Breast Cancer by Elayne Clift
Human Rights and Criminal Justice System by Dr. Shanker Adawal
Panch-Kanya: The Five Virgins of Indian Epics by Dr. Prema Nandakumar 
Bheel Mahabharata: Kunti and the Birth of the Sun God's Child by Satya Chaitanya
Sadaat Hasan Manto : A Profile compiled by Aparna Chatterjee
Tamil Nadu, Here I Come! by Usha Kakkar  
Mothers Without Strings by Tripat Kaur 
Shaking Up the Diaspora by Crespo Sebunya
Looking Through Water by Darryl D'Monte
One Woman Army : A Profile of Zakia Arshad 
Epic Adventure by Anjum Wasim Dar  
Crowning Glory: An Interview with Manoj Bajpai by MH Ahsan
Pakistan Calling: An Interview with Akbar Khan by MH Ahsan  
       

 

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