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Time Won't Heal

The days go on as do the nights.
It never changes.
But what changes is our thought-to-be everlasting love.

I came to you one day and said I needed a break.
I said I needed time to think and breathe.
You said, "How...why are you doing this to me?!"
How could I have done this to you?
Did you think this was so easy for me?
I loved you and I still do but not in the same way.
My heart is breaking just as yours is.
But it needed to be done.
It had to end.

Our relationship would have been a lie.
But I still would have stayed close with you.
It didn't have to end exactly how it did.
Now that your gone my heart breaks.
Everyday I look at your picture and wish that you had told me.
I could have helped you.
I pray constantly that God will take care of you.
I pray that I will get to see your face again.
But I won't. I never will.

When you hung yourself from that tree, I felt a pain in my heart.
Its like I knew you were gone.
I called you immediately on your cell.
The message said that you weren't in.
I somehow knew you'd never be again.
I called the police.
They found you...dead.

You caused everyone great heartache.
Much more than I ever caused.
People say that time will everything.
Well, its trying to heal my broken heart.
The pain and sadness is still there even though its been 2 years today.
The pain is just dulled a little, but not gone.
It never will be gone.
And every time I read your letters, including your suicide note, I cry.
I miss you so much.
I dream of you every night.
And every time I wake up, I die all over again because you aren't there anymore.
Screw those people who say time will heal.
Time heals nothing. 

 – Amanda Leigh
April 19, 2003

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