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Ramblings
The Return of Tughlaq
'You
know Sultan, I'm just beginning to understand why they say you are the
cleverest man in the world’ -Tughlaq, by Girish Karnad
A few
weeks ago, the Honorable Railway Minister announced that soft drinks
including Pepsi and Coke would not be served in the Railways throughout
India. Instead buttermilk was to be made available from Kashmir to
Kanyakumari. Not too long ago, after he was anointed, the Minister had
instituted that tea be served in “kullhars” (earthen pots) at Railway
stations.
In another bizarre move, the Minister had ordered that all vegetables from
Bihar be transported via the Indian Railways to be sold in Delhi and other
metros. The idea was to benefit farmers in Bihar who could fetch a higher
price for their produce in the metros. The minister is reported to have
said, “Buyers in Delhi will get vegetables grown on the sacred land by the
Ganga. The price of vegetables in Delhi will go down and our poor farmers
will get a higher value for their produce” (IE Jun 2004). The
biggest problem with this magnificent idea was that as soon as it was
executed, the vegetables are reported to have arrived at their destination
rotten and stinking, and worse, there were no takers after the first trip.
Brilliant! Another fodder scandal in the making! The Railways have never
been in such capable hands before!
Why not mandate that all trains be made to pass via Bihar no matter what
the origin and destination of the train might be, similar to, say an
airline hub in the US? This would also provide a boost to the Tourism
industry and what better way of discovering the country than by train! The
frequent rail miles (or kilometers) that one accumulates could then be
used to get “free” cold buttermilk on the next trip! Buttermilk fests can
be held at major Railway Junctions to generate more revenue. Starbucks may
be tempted to carry it and then buttermilk can be marketed in different
flavors and colors throughout the globe. There is no better milk than
buttermilk!
Maybe the policies of the Railways now being implemented should be
extended to other services as well. How about issuing all currency notes
in Bihar for the entire nation? Maybe a new currency could be adopted and
the rupee replaced with some other form of currency printed on palm
leaves.
Khadi could replace polyester, neem sticks in lieu of toothbrush and
cowdung can be used instead of natural gas. Bullock carts could eventually
take over the Skoda Octavia and the TATA Sumo. Why, this would completely
alleviate pollution and actually be a trendsetter in reducing greenhouse
gas emissions thereby curbing global warming! The world would become a
much better place to live in for the coming generations and India could be
the poster boy for the Kyoto protocol. We could then leverage our position
and hope to win a permanent seat in the UN Security Council! Now you see
how a nation achieves greatness by adopting simple concepts.
Whatever happened to the land of the great king Ashoka, Chandragupta
Maurya, and the Bodhi Tree? Nalanda once used to be a thriving cultural
center that has seen better times. Maybe the answer can be found in Jared
Diamond’s, “Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed”.
Maybe soon the capital of India might be shifted from Delhi to Pataliputra,
à la Tughlaq!
–
Subra Narayan
June 12, 2005
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