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Ramblings
Affirming Diversity
Resisting Decisiveness
by Julia Dutta
 The
day I arrived in the world, my mother’s stomach had been opened wide to
bring me out. She was still under the influence of the anesthesia when
the doctor and nurse decided to bring me to her. Slightly awake from the
anesthesia effect, she opened her eyes and looked at the doctor – " It’s
a boy, Doctor" she pronounced even before he could say anything. She had
pronounced my fate as well. No, I was not a sex: Male. I was sex:
Female. But my whole life has been colored "grey" – gender
ambiguity. I enjoy the trousers and the short hair. I loved the feminine
qualities in me and the masculine ones. I loved women who were not
really Oh, so feminine and men who are not anxious to prove they
are man.
I like men like my current boyfriend, Yogi. Happy to sleep in my night
dress and happy not to have to prove that he has what it takes to make
me happy. In fact, Yogi challenges my thought process all the time. Like
he did in Bombay this time after our return from Kolkata where he, I and
my new friend Anusri met for a small one-night-out at the beach.
" Resist! Resist! Resist!" Yogi said firmly
" Okay! Chill! " Anusri and I had reacted together
" Time to think things over, guys. We can’t take things lying down any
more."
" Yogi, ever since you have returned from Kolkata, you seem to be
transformed from a cool collected chap to a militant rebel" Anusri
observed.
" Blame it on the Bengali babu!" He said with a wink, looking at me.
" Please! I am not a babu" I retorted.
" Are you sure?" Yogi asked doubtfully.
" No! No! Yogi", Anusri came to my rescue, "Think diversity; Think many.
Think gender-bender".
"Yup!" I laughed, " Think Judith Butler and all that. What? It has taken
us twenty years or more to rethink ourselves – who we are and say and
confirm what Butler said years ago, gender is a social construct and it
is a grey space you just cannot put forcefully into black or while
zones."
Yogi, Anusri and I were on Gorai beach. Just for this one night. Gorai
beach? That’s the one I visited all my childhood years in Bombay – a
beach which was isolated and you could sit inside the shacks, or on the
wall and get intoxicated by the roaring sound of the sea. Your hair
would turn into a large mass of wired mesh. And although you were asked
not to, you would risk your life and sit by the water being bathed by
the tide rushing in on you. The sand caving in under you to fit your
bottoms. Relax! And sip your beer straight from the bottle like as if
you had what it took to take the world by storm.
Sadly, Gorai is not the same any more. However.
In the present context, Yogi was really surprised that despite talking
of diversity, many-ness, the 7th National Conference of Autonomous
Women's Movements in India was visibly glaring with the absence of
males. So had they decided to beat it and get on with their lives? Or,
was it that the feminist movement in India had expelled them from their
womb? Even this, was it that the movement had contributed to the making
men who were now different and therefore did not need to go out there
and make a statement. Or worst of all – had the movement created a
divide. That there were men who felt threatened and hence became more
male, while others who now felt liberated enough, fell into the grey
zone, not really man, neither woman, somewhere in between. To go
with the theme of the Conference - Affirming Diversity; Resisting
Decisiveness. So where were they?
" How can one definitely say that just because I am in a male body, I
have nothing that qualifies me to be what women pride themselves to
possess? I cannot be cast into the box saying " The underprivileged –
Sex: Male ". I am not going to accept this state. I will resist!"
" Cool it boy! After all we are all shaped by the feminist movement in
India and abroad and that gives you a special privilege, to be who you
are. "
" Thank God for that. Or else I would have had to keep doing what my
father, grand father and great grand father had been doing all their
lives! Born male. Get education. Become a professional. Work. Marry.
F**K. Produce kids. Contribute to bringing up the next generation of
labor force. Or get your girl-child married so she can produce another
generation of homo sapiens."
He took a breath and continued, "I like to be able to be in a
relationship, without having to make a commitment to marriage. I can
make love without having to worry about having kids. I don’t have to be
the sole breadwinner. In fact I am not the breadwinner at most times…I
can just relax and do my music and make enough money to look after my
needs only. I am responsible only for myself. I can cook and wash. And I
don’t need my girlfriend to select my clothing and underwear. What a
ridiculous thing to do! I have the opportunity to liberate myself from
the clinging claws of women – thank God my mother never had the time to
be there and cast her overbearing self on me. I was forced to think for
myself."
" Thanks to the woman’s movement? Anusri asked again.
" Sure! Thanks to them! Can’t you see, I am not your typical Indian
male? I have broken the gender stereotype and therefore I am not your
typical Indian "son" who is breastfed by their mothers till they reach
their funeral pyres!"
Anusri and I were going to get him this time. We raised ourselves from
the wet sands of Gorai beach and were about to hurl ourselves on him,
but!
He was right! Damn! He really should have been there at the Conference.
September 24,
2006
Image under license with
Gettyimages.com
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Ramblings
The Week of September 24, 2006
Is Osama Dead? Never Mind, Terrorism is Still
Alive! by Rajinder Puri
Mahatma Gandhi: Lost and Forgotten in India
by Dr. Subhash Kapila
Confluence of Poetry, Evolution, Economics and
Terrorism by Gaurang Bhatt, MD
India-Pakistan "Bhai-Bhai" by Col.
Rahul K. Bhonsle
Does Human Culture Matter in the Modern World?
by TA Ramesh
Moral Policing by the State by Bijoyeta Das
Wailing Womb, Weeping Heart by Satya Chaitanya
Mahalaya: Invoking the Mother Goddess by
Aparna Chatterjee
The Desecration of Temples and Other Acts by CR
Gopalakrishna
Heaven on Earth Ravaged by VK Joshi
Chemistry of Tulasi by Dr. V. Sankaran Nair
How to make Your Signature Lucky? by Pt.
Aaadietya Pandey
Dr. Varghese Kurien: Idol for Indian Youth by
Bijoyeta Das
From Drums of Phantom to SMS by VK Joshi
Gandhigiri Works! Lage Raho Munna Bhai by Ragini
Puri
Remembering Hrishikesh Mukherjee by Yamini
Ayyagari
Normal Childhood Behavior Misconstrued by
Gary Direnfeld
HIV /AIDS - Prevention and Creating Awareness -
Role of Media by Jyoti Singh
Seeking a Say in Sex by Lubana Yasmin Palia
The New Womanomics by Sreedevi Jacob
Grannies Get Together by Elayne Clift
Women's March to Freedom by Mehru Jaffer
Breaking Tradition's Clay Feet by Surekha
Kadapa-Bose
Yohhh! Boloji by Dr. Amitabh Mitra
God's Grace by Arya Bhushan
Affirming Diversity, Resisting Decisiveness
by Julia Dutta
Why I am Missing my Roots? by Anisa Chaudhary
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