On
my arrival in Warsaw, I always like to visit the suburb where my aunt
lived. The tramcar stops at the square, just in front of the old church.
I get off the car and look around to familiarize myself with the place.
I sigh with relief when I notice that no changes have occurred, and then
I go to the flower sellers sitting outside the church and choose a bunch
of flowers. After that I take a walk along the walls surrounding the
church until I get to the adjoining street. Now I look for a plaque on
the wall, and once I find it, I know that this is the right place. I lay
my bunch of flowers on the pavement and look across the street. There is
the block of flats where my aunt used to live. The house looks a bit
different now, as it was partially destroyed during the 1944 uprising,
but I recognize most of it and I’m tempted to run upstairs as I had done
before, so many times when I was a seventeen year old girl.
The year was 1943 and the place was Warsaw the capital of Poland. At
that time Warsaw was occupied by Germans. I was a young girl, full of
energy and zest for life, who lived there and who dared to enjoy her
youth.
At the time Warsaw was the place of great misery and sufferings. The
ghetto was burning, and the Jewish people were losing their battle for
survival. The leaders of the Polish underground organizations were
getting ready to liberate the city from the occupants. The Nazis became
more and more vicious knowing of the growing resistance, they had
increased the number of arrests, executions and rounds ups. Nobody was
safe, in the streets of Warsaw. But as I traveled through those streets
everyday by tramways and buses, I had (as yet) never experienced the
fear. One day I was returning from doing some errands for my aunt. She
employed me as her messenger for her newly established enterprise, which
involved weaving materials on looms. I used to deliver her samples,
collect money, and look for a market. It was a very rewarding
occupation, because at the same time I could collect and deliver our
underground press. Our daily “newspaper” was in great demand, and
sometimes I was lucky to have my own articles published in it.
That day I had a few dozen “newspapers” wrapped in brown paper in my
shopping bag, and I was going to deliver them soon after seeing my aunt.
The tramcar was very full, there were even people hanging like a bunch
of grapes on the steps of the car.
The passengers seemed all stressed out and preoccupied with their
problems, and there was a heavy atmosphere of total frustration. At one
of the stops a street singer got in. He had a guitar and he began to
play and sing songs; some of which were composed during the occupation.
The passengers responded enthusiastically to the music. As the front
seats of the car (which were allocated to Germans) were unoccupied, we
joined the singer and sang without restrain, demanding an encore and
paying him with generosity. Now the people smiled and joked and
repeated, “We shall conquer.”
We were approaching the square when suddenly the tramway came to a stop.
An ominous silence fell on the people and we waited with growing unease.
It was frightening how in a few seconds, the atmosphere in the tram had
changed. We all began to press to the windows and somebody shouted,
“This is a round up!”
The passengers abandoned their seats and rushed to the door, but the
German soldiers were already all around the tramcar, and for the first
time I felt fear taking hold of me. This furious beating of my heart,
this sinking feeling of pain in my stomach, and then the realization;
this is it; this is real. And panic, what could I do to save myself,
what about my brown packet in the bag? How should I dispose of it? I was
scared. I looked around and saw that some women were crying, and others
prayed; men were staring ahead with unseeing eyes, while the younger
ones were fidgeting nervously and trying to check their documents or
emptied their pockets of some compromising stuff. There was fear on each
face, and the tension was unbearable.
The soldiers began now to shout at us to get out, some passengers obeyed
the command, while others hesitated not knowing what to do. More shouts
to hurry up, I took my packet out of my shopping bag and placed it under
the seat. I got up and walked out with the others. .
I looked around. The square was full of scurrying away people, even the
flower sellers abandoned their seats and were running away like a flock
of frightened geese. I stood in a crowd of unknown people, surrounded by
soldiers, while the tramcar was now searched for the rest of the
reluctant passengers. Then the tramway started to move away, and I
watched it go with the growing despair.
“They are going to kill them,” a woman screamed, the other women began
to wail as the soldiers began pulling out men and young boys from the
crowd and lining them up. More screams and laments when some of the
young women were added too. I was getting more and more angry and
desperate. The woman was right, they were going to kill us all, or maybe
send us away to some of the slave camps we had heard of. I saw a SS
officer standing aside, watching impassively as his men were prodding
the people with the butts of their rifles and pushing them into a new
group. I had had enough. I pushed myself through the crowd and ran to
the officer, “Waarom? Why ?” I shouted. It was one of the words I knew
.in German.
He looked at me without an expression on his face, but when I shouted
again, he looked at me closely as if he were waking up from a dream. He
must have seen my anger and my desperation, or maybe even my plea for
help. “Go!” he screamed at me pointing in the direction of the church. I
ran and ran, thinking when will I get shot in the back by his shiny
revolver hanging on his waist? But nothing happened. I reached the
church and turned into the street where my aunt lived. I rushed inside
and climbed the stairs. When I was on the first floor I could not walk
any more. I leaned against the window and tried to calm myself down.
Slowly my breathing slowed down, but I stayed at the window, my mind in
turmoil. As I turned to climb more stairs I saw them outside in the
distance. There were men and women from my tramcar. There was even the
street singer with his guitar. There was some commotion as the soldiers
tried to line them up against the wall. A man tried to run away and a
shot was fired. This was followed by a second one, and another, and
another… I covered my ears. I couldn’t look any more. I rushed to my
aunt’s apartment. I rang the bell, and when she opened the door I tried
to tell her what had happened but I couldn’t utter a word.
This was one of the many street executions which took place in Warsaw as
a revenge for a Nazi that was killed by the Polish underground army. For
each Nazi killed, fifty Polish people had to die. They rounded them from
the streets, cars and buses. They were all innocent people who happened
to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Sixty years has passed by, the places that the executions took place at
are still national shrines where people come and light candles, lay
flowers and read how many people died for their country. As I read the
inscription on this memorial plaque. I recall the face of that unknown
SS man who saved me from my death. Why did he do it? Was it because of a
sudden whim, or was he was taken by my courage when I dared to shout,
“WHY?” at him. Maybe he saw the desperation in my eyes and there was
still a little compassion left in his heart? Who knows?
Maybe I should stop thinking about it and start believing that someone
greater than him, and the whole Nazi Empire was in control of my destiny
that day, and granted me the gift of life.
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