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Individuality
Friendship
- 12
Never impose
yourself
on your friend
 Stretching further on not expecting, in this chapter I would like to put forth the homologue of not expecting. In simple words, I am going to discuss about imposing yourself on your friend.
Because, when I say do not expect an affirmative response for outing from your friend, you will land up going to him personally, without permission. Then you will say, "I did not expect him to come!"
When you come to know that your friend is going somewhere and you ask, "can I come?" A genuine friend, however straightforward he is, will never say no.
This is not fair on your part. You should know it yourself. You should never impose yourself on your friend. Understand that you are being a little unfair with your friend by not letting him be alone or with someone else with whom he wants to be.
Never ask, "Can I come!" This is a statement, which should be avoided in friendship.
If you have such a friend who imposes himself on you, be frank enough to say 'no'. Don't accept his company just because you do not want to hurt your friend.
Learn to say no because I feel hypocrisy and formalities are two swords which cut the hands of friends who are holding each-others hand.
Again, I mention, friends should be in full co-ordination. There should be mutual understanding and no scope for formalities.
Never ask your friend for outing very often…two real and true friends can stay for long without meeting each other because their friend lives in their heart. If you feel like meeting your friend every now and then, then probably you must be wrong somewhere, your friendship must not be strong enough to stand the distance and time.
It's different that friends can be called up anytime, anywhere… but also remember that the depth of friendship is measured by how many times you think of each other and not by how many times you see each other.
Thus -
Never impose yourself on your friend.
Leave no scope for hypocrisy and formality in your friendship if you want it stronger.
–
Aarti Honrao
October 5, 2000
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