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Individuality
Friendship
- 13
Never show that you
have
sacrificed
for your friend
 There is one more golden rule of friendship, about which I am going to write in this chapter.
The rule deals with putting your feeling in words. Let me explain in detail and in easier terms.
Never let your friend know that you have sacrificed something for her. I cannot put this in simpler words.
Yeah! If you want I can elaborate on this topic giving examples.
If you come across a situation where you have an important schedule and still you
manage to go out to meet your friend, you should never let your friend know that you
have sacrificed your tight schedule for her.
In chapter Ten, I have given an example of friendly outing in context to the subject of
that chapter. I have advised the friend who wants to 'talk over'. In this chapter I want to
advice the friend who comes to meet. In that chapter I have also asked the other friend (the one who comes to meet ) that he should be straight-forward and let his friend know
of the shortage of time.
Do not misunderstand me when I say, in this chapter, that one should never let her friend know of her sacrifice!
If you understand the two things separately and properly, you will realize from your analysis that these two things are different from each other and cannot be linked.
Being straight-forward and telling your friend to finish off is the sign of loyalty towards your friend.
Such friendships are never ever burden on any of the friends. There is no formality needed.
You give time to your friend and show your understanding; you tell your friend frankly and make her understand you.
As far as sacrifice is concerned, if you come and tell your friend that you have come in spite of your tight schedule indirectly means that you have done him a great favor.
That's what your friend will never like.
Your friend is aware of your tight schedule even if he does not thank you for coming. A genuine friend will never thank you. I personally feel that she should not. If you show your sacrifice it means that you want him to thank you, then she will do so and then you will say that there was no need for it.
All these statements account to formalities and as I initially said "Formality is like a poison for friendship."
Thus -
Never show that you have sacrificed for your friend.
–
Aarti Honrao
November 9, 2000
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