The World of Teens  
Relationships
Can We Relate To Them?

The dictionary meaning of the word “relation” is connection of ideas, thoughts and things. However is every relation well defined or mature enough to take the form of “relationship” or is any specific relationship clear enough to go on without any specific name or does it require a specific name to be so called recognized in this world. But, please do tell me one thing, if names or various specifications are given to these relations or rather "relationships" are they understood well by this world ! - half of them being so busy that they don’t care to even know about their family relations. I thought these were blood relationships!

Few relationships well understood in this world marked by unwritten societal laws and various taboos include mother-child, husband-wife, brother-sister etc. but, what about the emerging relation of a young girl and a young boy! What will that be named? A girl friend—boy–friend relation. Talking of our Indian context, in most schools today there is clear emphasis on sex education, encouraging talks on opposite sex-peer relation and various other forms which it eventually holds. But, then why does an elderly middle aged woman feel so insecure when her daughter introduces her boy-friend to her inspite of this crystal clear concept of "girl-friend—boy-friend" which even a five year old child holds today. Concept being – “A girl who is a friend is a girl-friend and a boy who is a friend is a boy-friend.” OK if it is so well defined then why do parents feel so troubled about these ongoing relationships…WHY? Again, just for the satisfaction of few, this relationship takes the form of “Going-Around” . Sounds hilarious to me somehow. “Going-Around” means what? “Going-Around” with one particular person and limiting your life and knowledge to that so called “Going-Around” person for a specific period of time!!

Yes! This concept does provide most of “these” young couples with immense satisfaction. Somehow, I fail to relate to this concept. Does every relationship have to have a form of commitment to show that one is serious. A person who has just passed through immense mental trauma or dissatisfaction (thanks to the “Going-Around”) with no tears to shed in front of the world including close friends etc. doesn’t mean that he/she wasn’t committed? What is “Commitment"? I think most people today, don’t understand the meaning of this ten-letter word, which according to me really doesn’t require to be committed to, when actually committed in a relationship!

Also, relationships with funny recognitions like “Patch-up” etc. are understood well by many. Sounds stupid to me as this reminds of a tailor, sitting with many psychedelic prints confused enough to patch alternate-diagonal prints etc. Will theses so-called forms of relationships with name eventually succeed. Do they have a form of commitment?

To conclude with, based upon my personal experience I would say that relationships do occur without any name, without any commitment but, then the question is how comfortable is the other person in this particular form of relationship and what happens if he/she is willing to give it some kind of undefined name! This really wouldn’t mean that he/she isn’t committed but just shows the pattern of priority for him/her - clearly being the world outside!

Hence, today there are existing relationships without any name and I personally think that all forms of relationships should be redefined or other alternative being modification in the thought process to atleast suit the comfort and needs of few people like me! Who stand totally confused and baffled when it comes to the term –“RELATIONSHIP".  

– Khushboo Bhola
September 2, 2001

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