OK,
you've turned 21. Congratulations! You're "legal" now. You can take
the rite of passage to an Atlantic City casino; you can ID your way
into the local watering hole. Cheers! You've been inducted into the
"adult" world where, with alcohol to relax you and dull your
inhibitions, you can hang out with friends in the bar scene. You've
arrived. But where?
The road into adulthood and adult friendships is certainly not a very
easy one. My parents stand for certain things, and I've stood for
certain things: but now I've got to decide what I believe in, how I
want to live my life. There are so many choices! So many different
roads I can take. Should I follow the crowds into the taverns? Now
that I've tasted the bar scene--being around drunken people, drinks
spilled on me--is this what I really want to do, 9 pm to 3 am? Is this
becoming what I need to do? Has my "adult" creed become that God
created Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights for bars?
It's not surprising that finding out where alcohol fits into their
lives is tripping up a lot of college students. It's flooring a lot of
older adults as well. Let's face it. Alcohol is a big part of the
American scene. It's the drug of choice, and it's legal. It's no
accident that Cheers was one of TV's most popular sitcoms. People want
to go, as its catchy theme song says, "where everybody knows your
name, and they're always glad you came." For many Americans this
feeling of well-being, acceptance and belonging, be it at home or in a
bar, centers on alcohol.
Those who have eyes that see have long recognized that alcohol
destroys countless beautiful lives and families. But Prohibition of
alcohol was a dismal failure. Alcohol has a deep seated and privileged
place in our culture. Witness the titanic struggle that was required,
during your own lifetime, to try to end even something as mad and
murderous as drunk driving. When people are out partying, they are now
more conscious of the need to have a cold sober "designated driver" to
get everyone home in one piece. For all her fame and fortune, not even
Princess Diana was exempt from the ravages of drunk driving.
Am I suggesting that it's wrong to have a beer or visit a bar? No.
Contrary to what Protestant evangelicals [who are keenly sensitive to
the destruction alcohol causes in many lives] may teach, our Catholic
tradition sees alcohol, TAKEN IN MODERATION, as one of God's
blessings. Jesus' very first miracle was to change water into wine for
wedding guests (Jn 2). And following Christ's lead at the Last Supper,
it is not just grape juice, but wine that we consecrate when we come
together for Mass.
But young and old alike, we need to have a very sober awareness of the
place of alcohol in our lives. First of all, about 10% of us, one out
of ten of us, are physically predisposed to become alcoholics. While
sometimes alcoholism may not seem so bad in the beginning, we need to
recognize that alcoholism is a progressive and fatal disease. We are
not very good at seeing through the denial, to when alcohol is
beginning to create serious problems in ours lives, or in the lives of
those around us. We must not be blind to the fact, to cite just one
example, that most date rape is alcohol related.
Even if we are not alcoholics, we all need to understand the role that
alcohol is playing in our lives. How many alcoholic drinks can I
safely take at any particular event? Do I stick to that limit? If it
is going to be a long gathering, can I begin with nonalcoholic
beverages, so that my total consumption will be within my limit?
Any religion that depended on a drug for its spiritual high would be
highly suspect. Equally suspect should be any of us whose sense of
well-being, acceptance or belonging depends on a drug, like alcohol.
If I decide to take a drink as part of my socializing, that's one
thing. But to let myself get to the point where I need alcohol in
order to relax, to "be myself," to have a good time, is quite
something else. It is a shabby substitute, a serious hindrance, to
life's most challenging adventure: continually discovering and
developing, celebrating and sharing, WHO I AM.
And so, 21 year old, welcome to the world of adults. May God move you,
swiftly and safely, past any temptation to view alcohol as a short cut
to genuine adulthood or personhood. My prayer is that any creativity
you may have developed in trying to find ways to secure alcohol before
you were 21, will now serve you better, by helping you to find ways
more imaginative and healthy than alcohol, to enjoy being with your
friends, to enjoy being YOU.
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