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Society
Homework for Men
by Mini Sharma
Sub-inspector
Sunita Tiwari, 30, reaches the Sukhi Sewania police station on the
outskirts of Bhopal at 8 am. She leaves her two children, aged six and
12, with her husband Vinod, 32. While Sunita tries to complete at least
some of the morning chores before she leaves, it is Vinod who handles
most of the work at home. His state government job, with its fixed work
hours - 10.30 am to 5.30 pm - gives him enough time to get his children
ready for school and to cook lunch. Washing clothes is also part of his
duties.
Sunita handles the shopping, and does all she can to spend as much time
as she can with the children. Sunday morning is the only time the whole
family is together. Once a week, when she is on night-patrol duty,
Sunita manages to stay home until 11 am. "Vinod and I make all
home-related decisions together. Being in the police, I find it
difficult to spare time for the family, and I could not have held this
challenging job without my husband's help," says Sunita.
The Tiwaris represent a new trend in Madhya Pradesh - a rethinking of
the traditional roles of husband and wife. More and more men and women
are working outside the home. According to the Census of India 2001,
33.1 per cent of women in Madhya Pradesh work. In the urban areas, this
figure stands at 11.7 per cent. A larger number of people are also
living in nuclear families. In 2005, the National Family Health Survey
had released figures stating that 55.8 per cent of all families in
Madhya Pradesh are nuclear families.
Even in relatively traditional families, couples have come to realize
that gender roles will have to be redrawn. "In the beginning, it was
tough to leave the household work to my husband because I believed that
men could not do domestic work efficiently," says Vinita Sharma, 42, a
medical social worker in the Madhya Pradesh Health Department. Her
husband, Krishna Kumar, 45, is a librarian in the Obedullahganj
Government College in Raisen district near Bhopal. The couple shares
household responsibilities so that they get enough time to spend with
each other after 6 pm. Watering the garden is Krishna's responsibility,
while preparing lunch for their two children is Vinita's.
"Since there is nobody else to do the work, we have to manage things
between us," says Krishna Kumar. He did feel odd about supervising the
domestic help but feels more comfortable now. "However, I do feel that
it is easier for women to point out various tasks and oversights to the
housemaid."
Renu, 35, and Ashok Wadhwa, 37, say they began dividing the housework
after their daughter Mehak, now 15, was born - a practice they have
since kept up. "It's quite easy to tackle the situation now. I leave for
office around 9 am, while my husband manages the home. He is a
businessman and starts his day late, so he is able to complete all the
morning chores," says Renu. He also handles work outside the home, like
paying electricity or phone bills. Renu takes care of the evening chores
- like cooking or preparing for the next morning - when she reaches home
at 5.30 pm. Attending parent-teacher meetings and taking care of Mehak's
homework is also her responsibility.
Schoolteacher Anju Gaur, 28, and her husband Rajesh Gaur, 32, a hardware
engineer in a private college, found that moving out of a joint family
set-up was the impetus for chore-sharing. Anju says that she feels
closer to her husband now. She is also more comfortable in terms of the
work burden. "I feel the warmth of our relationship when Rajesh shares
the household responsibilities. I had never felt this way when we were
living in a joint family. Rajesh also shares more things with me now,
including information about new developments in various fields," she
says.
According to Gyanendra Gautam, Head of the Department of Sociology in
Barkatullah University, Bhopal, the idea of the dominating male is
fading fast. 'The example of men and women working in coordination with
each other is a great example for the next generation. The sense of
equality that this sharing of household chores brings about helps women
work more effectively both outside the home and within it."
"This is, of course, still a nascent trend, yet to catch on in small
towns and rural areas - or even in a big way in urban areas. As the cost
of living increases in urban areas, it is essential for both husband and
wife to work in order to provide financial security for the family.
Eventually, this will impact traditional gender roles as well," says
Gautam, adding, "The challenge is greater in a joint family, where men
who wish to participate in household chores are chided."
Bhopal-based psychologist Ruma Bhattacharya agrees, but also says, "It
is true that couples experience an entirely new relationship in nuclear
families. But they should understand that this is also possible while
they are still living with their old parents."
December 17,
2006
By arrangement with
Women's Feature Service
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Society
The Week of December 17, 2006
India: The Shining, The Suffering and The
Pampered by Dr. Subhash Kapila
Modus Operandi of Empires by Gaurang Bhatt, MD
China: Balancing Power Relations in South and
South-East Asia
by Col. Rahul K. Bhonsle
Special Economic Zones: Boon or Disaster? by
Ramesh Menon
Manmohan Singh's Dangerous Declaration of 2006
by V. Sundaram
Health of Nations by J. Ajithkumar
Is there non-discriminatory Rule of Law in India?
by V. Sundaram
In Their Right Minds by Linda Light
Ethnic Issue Overtakes Nepal's Class War? by
Rita Manchanda
Looking Ahead in Gujarat by Manjari Sewak
Look Who's Talking! by Manisha Parekh
World Brotherhood: Love and Peace through
Poetry by Shernaz Wadia
Science, Arts and Literature for Human Culture
by TA Ramesh
River from the Land of Mystique Spells Doom
by VK Joshi
Keeping Thyroids in Order by Fehmida Zakeer
HIV/AIDS Bill -Pushing the Legal Envelop by
Kajal Bhardwaj
Papiya Ghosh: From JS to an End by Dr. Amitabh
Mitra
Hope for Battered Women by Marlinelza B. de
Oliveira
Homework for Men by Mini Sharma
The Perversity of Periyarana by V. Sundaram
A Shadow from Past Life a Story by Manasi Dutt
Romancing the Desert by Attreyee Roy Chowdhury
A Rebel of Innocence - 3 by Ashwini Ahuja
Roads in Chennai by Glory Sasikala Franklin
My God, What Have You Done! by Dhiraj
Bhimji Raniga
Sensationalism and the Media by Rajesh Talwar
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