Book
Reviews
Notes from an
Extraordinary Life Extracts from 'The Autobiography
of a Sex Worker' by Nalini Jameela
As I was just nine when I
started to work (in a clay mine), I had none of the heavy
responsibilities that worker women usually carry... I got one-and-a-half
rupees (US $1=Rs 39). When everyone bought rice and provisions I bought
some too. I tucked the rice, chillies and coriander into my towel and
stepped into the house like a very important person, only to find my
mother in anguished tears. Her hope was that I would become someone big
through studies. In my mind, I was already a big person.
A New Job
I started sex work after my husband's death, when his mother began
demanding a really large sum from me daily to support my children... My
mother-in-law asked for five rupees every day.
I discussed this with my friend Kartyayani... she told me about Rosa
Chechi of Thrissur. She apparently had a job there; I could earn money
if I joined her. What sort of work, I asked. You'll have to 'go along
with' a man, she replied. No one would openly mention sleeping together
or sex. ...
Rosa Chechi told me we were to go to a place where a police officer was
entertaining people. I went along with her... I was standing, relaxed,
hair flowing loose, when he came in. A man in a gold-bordered dhoti,
with a sandal mark on his forehead... His behavior towards me that night
was very tender... This was the person I had dreamt of, the lover who
appeared in my fantasies. The same handsome man handed me over to the
police in the morning.
... As soon as we came to the police station, the caning started. We
were caned on the soles of our feet... In between beatings the Assistant
Station Inspector jeered, "So what did you think? That if you slept with
'saar' (sir) at night, he wouldn't tell us?"...
The Company House
After this, I decided to go to Vavannur to get away. I rented a house
there along with Rosa Chechi, Sheela, Kartyayani and others. Rosa Chechi
was our leader... In general, those were happy days that flew by fast. I
used to send home money very regularly. Though I was not in a situation
where I could go back home, they accepted my earnings. The usual method
was to send the money to my husband's mother through a woman friend...
At Mangalore
Once, the sum I had sent came back unclaimed. I made enquiries through a
friend. Apparently, my husband's younger brother had gone off to work in
the Gulf and was sending plenty of money back home. So they had decided
not to accept my money. The fear was that if they accepted my money, I
might claim my children later. It was painful to cut my ties with them
for good; but they were living well, and I found some happiness in that.
I had got into this trade to support my kids. Like any other job, this
one too had been tiring at times. I'd carried on only for their sake.
Now that responsibility had ended; I began to think of other options,
including that of leaving the trade.
Married, Again
I was confused, unsure of my next step when Koyakka proposed to me. He
promised to marry me and settle down in a house in another part of
Mangalore. He had been married twice, he told me; but since there were
no kids, he'd divorced both wives. He set a condition for us. If we
didn't have children, he'd give up this relationship too... I didn't
have a bad opinion of him. I decided to accept his proposal, given
everything...
'Haram-haraat?'
Until the baby was born, Koyakka used to take care of everything, but
after her birth, his interest began to wane. ...When I found out that
Koyakka was thinking of disowning the child, I decided to end that
20-month-old marriage...
The Marriage that Lasted
One day Sheela and I were roaming in the vicinity of the KSRTC bus
station when a fairly good-looking man alighted... It was apparent that
he was looking for a woman. ...he gave me 200 rupees and asked all about
my life, how I happened to have a baby with the Muslim name Zeenat and
other details. Once he had heard everything, he asked, "Are you
interested in living with me?" I was wary, in the light of my earlier
experience. But he persisted. He said we could live as husband and wife,
that he would bring up Zeenat like his own child.
Once we started living together, he and my little girl became very
close. I didn't do sex work those days... For the next 12 years, I
didn't have to struggle to raise my daughter. ...
'Veerappan's Lion'
The terrible times started in 1994. I fell ill suddenly, caught
completely by surprise. The period stays in my mind like an experience
of falling off a cliff, or of being rudely roused from a dream. ...
On the Streets with My Daughter
Now all my money had been spent on medical treatment... I was back on
the streets with 13-year-old Zeenat. Where were we to go? My body would
not allow me to do sex work. What to do, then?...
Rehabilitation
A question often raised with regard to sex workers, especially in
Kerala, is that of our 'rehabilitation'... I want to ask these people
whether they have ever tried to find out about sex workers' family ties,
social ties. Is it possible to build afresh their domestic ties and
social ties through rehabilitation? Won't this merely leave the sex
worker all the more isolated and helpless?
We demand that sex work be decriminalized. ... By 'decriminalizing',
what we mean is this: if two people want to have sex by common consent,
if this is in no way a nuisance to others, then it should not be
questioned. This is particularly important in Kerala, where there are no
brothels. They are run best in Kolkata and in Karnataka... In Mumbai and
other places, there is often utter wretchedness. The brothels in Mumbai
are the worst.
...In general feminists are reluctant to accept sex workers. I think
that's because they cannot see that sex is a woman's need as well.
('The Autobiography of a Sex Worker'
by Nalini Jameela; Westland Books Pvt. Ltd.; Rs 150; pp 143)
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As I was just nine when I
started to work (in a clay mine), I had none of the heavy
responsibilities that worker women usually carry... I got one-and-a-half
rupees (US $1=Rs 39). When everyone bought rice and provisions I bought
some too. I tucked the rice, chillies and coriander into my towel and
stepped into the house like a very important person, only to find my
mother in anguished tears. Her hope was that I would become someone big
through studies. In my mind, I was already a big person.