Nov 26, 2024
Nov 26, 2024
by Timsy Sahni
It happened in an instant and changed my life forever. Could this be happening to me, a person who thought love would never enter her world. Yet, it did, and with full force left a mark lasting a lifetime. I remember the first time I was kissed, like someone remembers the back of his or her own hand. That day is so vivid as if time stood so still that it was never the same again. I was an average teenager full of self-doubt, inexperience, and yet yearning to end my curiosity about anything and everything. However, I was never the one to take the initiative, always relying on others to the make the first move. If I found someone likable, taking the initial step was unthinkable. Any effort to show my true feelings was hidden away in a compartment of the heart.
I would have taken all those secrets to the grave if it hadn't been for Him. He was my best friend, someone who knew me inside and out. It never bothered me that he was a guy; similar to those I would rather eat glass than approach. He was different and this was apparent from the first day we met. It took us a very short amount of time to become confidants and nothing else mattered beyond that. I would cry on His shoulders about my problems at school, at home, about my looks, to all those abandoned chances at love. He listened to each word and did all He could, to help.
As time past, something amazing started to happen. When I noticed him in a new light, my heart asked why it took me so long to "see" him as a prospective love interest. He was smart, good-looking, and had a great sense of humour. Moreover, He was the one I desired to kiss. I wanted Him to be my first kisser. You know the type, tall, dark and handsome. Nevertheless, there was more to him than just superficial traits. His soul was beautiful if someone really bothered to look for it. In this day and age, most don't have time to this and it's exactly what needs to be done. Perhaps, subconsciously, I thought he was so perfect that there was no chance of him looking at me in the same manner. There was a real problem though. How could I tell my best friend I had found love and He was none other than that guy?
So, for weeks, a constant struggle went on. Should I tell him and just get it over with or would this be the end of our cherished relationship? Out of a world of laughter, suddenly I was sad. Day and night I knew it would haunt me, the kiss I knew I never would have. God, this was not the time to be unsure of the decisions to be made. It hurt when I thought of his reaction. Would he just take it as a joke and laugh at my idea of us being a couple? Or would he be so appalled and disgusted by the very thought? All these feelings were just eating me up, and the last thing I wanted was for Him to see me depressed over a guy. While being so emotional, I completely forgot to think of the positive side of the situation. At no time did it cross my mind that He felt the same way about me.
Thank God for best friends, where would I be without mine? Apparently, he who had the courage and the heart to confess our true feelings? He had to take the first step, since my feet were not going to choose that path by themselves. He finally asked me out and I was ecstatic. We sat in His car for a while until I could hear myself screaming: Kiss him, you fool. I also knew, that kissing is the first physical expression of serious attraction between two people. They may hold each other closely, they may stare into each other's eyes deeply, but their relationship cannot go any further until they kiss. A kiss is not just a kiss; it's an art that can be used towards anything. If you are in love it's something romantic, something that give the relationship a new dimension. I was timidly petrified, because I didn't know how. I suddenly had kissing phobia.
Yet I knew, there is an infinite variety of kisses that lovers can exchange, from playful or tender lip kissing to deeply arousing open-mouth kissing with tongue play. Kissing someone you are mad about is one of life's great pleasures - or should be. Surprisingly, large numbers of people have no idea how to kiss, and a poor kisser can be a terrible disappointment. Just as someone who is a skilled practitioner of the art of kissing can have you tearing off your clothes. The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.
The figure was so captivating that it brought me back to consciousness. His abrupt spoken words, telling me right there and then, how much he cared for me was more than I expected. Every word that came out of his luscious mouth was a lyric; every sentence a song. His lips glistened in the night as he spoke, and his eyes controlled my mind with one stroke. This seemed like a fantasy come true�.only it brought me back to reality. Of course, that part I don't remember too well. What came next was something I had waited my whole life for.
His lips kissed mine and there was no looking back. A kiss that was so precious, so intimate, so tender and so full of love. It was at that moment that a fragile and na�ve girl found herself and her true soul mate. I wanted to capture his mouth with desperate urgency, unifying our souls and thought with the mouth. I wanted my kiss to be dynamic and explorative, ever changing, but not explorative in the way that some people stuff their tongues in your mouth as though they were searching for buried treasure.
I gradually became hungry, a hunger that is as natural as the need for food, love, passion, desire, the need to touch someone else. This craving for human contact is instinctive. But, how could I give a kiss without taking one; and how can I take without giving one? My goal was how to make my first kiss linger in my mind and at the same time tingle in body. This all seemed very mystifying until He entered my soul and let in as much hope and happiness as it could handle. While kissing him, all I wanted to think about was the kiss I was kissing. I started with my lips slightly parted, his lips gently touching mine as if the lips of two lovers' are brought into direct contact with each other. I wanted to feel those tender juicy red lips before I explore the wonders of the tongue. I yearned for my tongue and his to meet at the same time, so we both can take it from there, figuring out what is pleasurable.
Apparently, that kiss had hit me like a ton of bricks and when I regained my composure, I became a young woman. Experiencing an act of love for the first time. It was a hard-to-define kiss-the more it moved me, the less sure I was of where the kiss was. The more energy it had, the more trouble I had figuring out how long it lasted. That was only because the level of uncertainty was so high that I wasn't quite sure if I was being kissed or not. All I remembered was that kissing was slow and dizzy, and I fell�.and fell. Recalling just the breathlessness and the sound of my heart suddenly loud enough to stop the traffic. Until then I never really knew what kissing was. That day I discovered exactly how much it meant. One might think that the first kiss is the most important because it awakens emotions you never knew you had.
However, the kiss that comes second is far more precious. This is the kiss that comes straight from the heart. It is more thoughtful, more meaningful in every drawn breath. It's the kind of kiss that says "now that I have fallen head over heals in love with you, I can show you exactly how much." Those are the kisses I remember the most. To kiss him was the most loving and endearing act imaginable. To brush my lips against His, like the soft gentle breeze of a mid-summer's day. To caress His face while holding that kiss until we crossed boundaries of reality. Could Heaven be like a kiss so pure, so innocent, lasting in depths of eternity? My heart ached for those kinds of kisses. Being kissed passionately by a man with a maximize sensation is not anywhere near erotic as being kissed by a man who makes full use of all the muscles in your mouth and tongue. It is much better kissing someone whose mouth responds to yours and who knows how to use pressure. Mouth to me, is the entering to the soul, coupling of the soul�not the body.
I kissed him as though, at that moment, nothing else existed in the world. As though my entire life was wrapped up into the period of the kiss. I kissed him as though there is nothing else that I would rather be doing. I soul kissed him. Running my fingers through his hair as if water running through ocean. Cupping his face in my hands as if holding a precious pearl. Rubbing his masculine shoulders or back giving him an erotic massage. Using my feathery soft touches up and down his neck and cheeks with the back of my palm and fingers. Entangling myself while he pulled me stronger and stronger towards him, waiting for the chemistry to take place.
His kisses were the ocean, so vast and endless. His kisses were the snowflakes on a winter's day, each one unique and extraordinary. His kisses were finally mine and no one else's. Our unspoken language conveyed how much had happened in that instant. So much changed with those kisses. Our souls connected and a new bond was created. We were strangers at first, then friends, now lovers, what would be next? A kiss that had left me paralyzed would lead to the love that would bring me back to life!
A kiss is just a kiss�..or is it?
Alas, how easily things go wrong!
A sigh too much, or a kiss too long,
And there follows a mist and a weeping rain,
And life is never the same again.
10-Apr-2000
More by : Timsy Sahni
Very nice. . |