Humor
CAG!
'Now its coal' he remarked dramatically.
I was taken aback. What on earth was my effervescent friend talking about.
'You, mean mining?' I asked tentatively.
'What mining?' he retorted.
'Coal mining which is illegal' I said.
'It happens here in Meghalaya'.
'I mean the coal scam' he said with a look of exasperation.
'Oh sorry' I said.
'I am very poorly updated with the latest. There is so much of news, that I can't make the choice, whether it should be TV, Newspapers, Websites...'.
' Oh cut that'. He looked serious.
'Haven't you heard of the thirty three million dollar loss to the Government' my friend said.
'Oh, my God how did it happen. And who did that painstaking calculation?'.
'The CAG of course'.
'The what?' I asked nonplussed.
'You fool, you nitwit' my friend said.
'It is the Central Audit'.
'Oh yes, I remember once they came to my office, and they mentioned a list of points, to which I replied' I was now growing in confidence.
'Oh forget that'. He waved a limb irritably.
'The point is' he continued 'these were allocations, and not through open bids'.
'Oh, the three quotation rule, my friend' I said.
'This is not quotations, it is open tendering'.
'How tender?' I asked.
'I think you are a real nitwit. I don't know how you got into a government organization. We have lost thirty three million dollars because of this scam. But some say that the Audit calculations were erroneous'.
'Must be' I mused.
'It is difficult to come to such a staggering amount. Why I can't even think beyond hundred lakhs'.
'So, blame the Audit,' he said 'and try to improve your arithmetic' he said this, and in a whisker he vanished.
I went to find out determinedly what CAG was!
23-Aug-2012
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Ananya S Guha
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