As soon as the HM alighted from his limo villagers were delighted .They waived ,shrieked and shouted slogans welcoming him. Younger lot was busy in ogling at his Rolex gold watch, Gucci shoes and long car longer than any of their bullock carts. HM was sweating profusely, wiping his face for the nth time which by now had turned redder than radish. He asked 'Young ladies! you have no water problem now, I suppose'. Village damsels, as they are, started non stop giggling without even properly hearing the HM much less understanding what the question was all about. HM repeated the question 'I believe no water problem now'. They all in chorus replied in negative adding 'Just 10 miles from here flows the river otherwise the village has an improvised pond also which is favorite between both, ones looking to commit suicide and the ones looking for bathing their cattle. HM waived at his secretary who immediately scribbled the need for two separate ponds. HM was wondering why these villagers do not go for aqua-guard. Suddenly, he remembered lack of electricity'the root cause of present state of affairs .He made a mental note to award a contract to the MNC, which met him last week offering infrastructural support. HM's second query was more mundane 'Do you take protein rich food, balance diet is a must for people living in this part of the country' They answered 'we do eat pudina chutney once a week and on remaining days we eat roti with red chillies and salt.' HM cut them short 'No ! no ! I am not talking about starters' Local MLA had to explain 'Sir they are describing their main course only and not starters' 'O! O! they are weight conscious! Bravo ! ' HM exclaimed. ' I am impressed' he quipped. 'Green chillies or red chillies ?' HM wanted details 'Red chillies ' pat came the reply. 'Why don't they simply use puree or paste, how many precious man-hours are lost in preparing chutney, day in day out' he moaned. 'What are the consumption figures of pizza, hamburger, frankies, noodles and hotdogs on weekends' he really wanted to go to the bottom of their amazing food habits. He was informed 'their fast food is sattu'. At this HM lost his temper 'What shit ! how unhygienic, country is going to dogs, country's precious man-hours are lost in this only, how the hell can they ever hope to progress'. HM was upset beyond redemption. He returned to the capital.

Next day, newspapers were full of headlines and photographs of the tour, giving highlights of the successful tour. In one picture HM was holding a naked boy in his lap, in the other he was being garlanded by village damsels. In yet another he was cutting ribbon, next pulling lever of water pump, then patting the cattle. He inaugurated half a dozen projects, announced a dozen new schemes. Editorials were full of HM's address to the villagers, which inter-alia had reference to 'health is wealth, AIDS, internet, globalization ,international terrorism and SARS. He was moved by the plight of the villagers, so much so that he has decided to 'adopt' the village, whatever that means.

Villagers were happy as never before. They were busy singing, dancing, and celebrating till late in the night . For months to come they would talk about the function and HM's visit. After all each one was given five rupees and women were gifted Party's flag colored scarf in addition. The group of girls chosen to sing welcome chorus and garland the HM was happier for they had, in addition, received a perfumed toilet soap ,that too the imported one.

The tour indeed was a BIG SUCCESS !