The Hon Culture Minister, Mr. Kalaposhak today announced that the country would be celebrating the 100th birthday anniversary of Mangal Ram.

Mangal who? 

Ignorant fools do you not know he was Gandhiji's official barber, the man who ensured that the Mahatma would always remain bald, giving India its most important symbol. Just as Gandhiji became the father of the Nation, the government, in accordance with the wishes of the barber community would honor the great barber. 

Not a bad idea, when criminals, goons, hustlers have their day why deny it to the poor barber.  

The celebrations would kick off on Oct 1, Mangal Ram's birthday, where he would be honored with the title of the Barber of the Nation. All members of the political parties would pay tributes to this humble barber. A statue of Mangal Ram would be unveiled by his son ,Mr.Kangaal Ram in Parliament House. Meanwhile corporate houses are falling all over themselves to promote this event. Pepsi has come out with its brand new drink named Baal, with the slogan "More Bal, More Pepsi". Not to be outdone Coke has planned to come out with billboards advertising 
its new drink Mangala. 

A seminar would be held in the capital where leading intellectuals would discuss on the Role of Barbers in Indian Society. BoreDarshan would be showing a 30 minute capsule on the Life of Mangal Ram. Bollywood has planned to make a film with barber as the hero. Top producer and star are being considered. 

The Mohalla would be renamed as Mangalrampuri in honor of the Great Barber. MTV has come out with a hair cutting contest to see who would have the weirdest hair style. Committees is being set up to promote this event. Mangal Rams house will now be a tourist attraction. 

Meanwhile the opposition party has criticized the Government for not doing enough to perpetuate the memory of the Great Barber. In response the Government has decided to institute a Barber Ratna, which has angered the swadeshis as they feel that the name is too videshi. 

Leading intellectuals are writing columns about barbers and their role in society. The left party proclaimed that it would lead a protest march against the working conditions of barbers, while Mr. Mul Yadav and Mr. Lal Yadav demanded that barbers should be granted OBC status.