Quarter to one at night and I just finished watching 'Lakshya, a movie that I had been wanting to see for quiet some time, mainly ever since my visit from Ladakh and yes, they have captured Ladakh beautifully on screen. As I write the word 'capture' in the previous line, my pen halts and my hand shakes a trifle at the intensity of the word (capture). The Pakistanis captured Tiger Hill and our soldiers had to fight to get it back (Kargil War 1999). As I write my thoughts down, I am so full of emotions ' Pride, Courage, Awe, Jealousy, Love etc etc.

Pride

I know it is wrong to be proud'. My ethics tell me so. But you know what - with all its faults and all its goodness, I am proud to be an Indian. I am proud to be a part of this heritage called India. And thousand times and more, I am proud, extremely proud of the country and every single citizen who contributes to its welfare directly or indirectly.

Courage and Awe
Our mountainous ranges are undoubtedly very very harsh and the rigorous terrain can put one off very easily. Yet our country's defense tolls on them, survives on them, fights on them and yes, at times, attains martyrdom on them. I am full of admiration, awe and respect for that every single Indian who has been posted there, who has been on guard there for each 2-3 years of his life, staying endlessly in a bunker, exposed to harsh climate of freezing winds, melting snow, waist deep glaciers, temperature dipping to '50 degree C, alert, on guard for the slightest action from the enemy.

As I watched the movie, I was in awe for the passion our soldiers have on front for their country. They are fanatics driven by the motive of keeping our country free, so that every citizen sleeps soundly at night. Ah! I wish sincerely ' if even an iota of this fanaticism existed in our civilians, our country wouldn't be so renowned for its corruption. It would gain newer heights.

I respect every single jawan for his contribution, his courage, his fanaticism, for giving his life to such a noble cause. I bow down to them a 1000 times.

Jealous
Like pride, jealousy is a wrong emotion ' I am very much aware of it. But this one time, I am jealous of the entire male creed, for they have been bestowed with the blessing to march forward to the front '.

I am jealous of them because I am not a man and am in no position to do the same. I am jealous of that person who meets me in the eyes and says, 'I am the country's vigil.'

I am sure each soldier is full of apprehensions when going to war and the only apprehension that I can relate to as per to their mental conflicts is that whether they will survive this fight for the next one or not?? But how can the fear of death deter my brave soldiers ' even as they die, their lips sing ' Vande Mataram! Oh! My chest swells in pride for my warriors.

I am not saying that every man has to be a soldier and go to the front to do his /her country proud. You Men, have been given the opportunity to do your country and your parents proud. You have been blessed with your gender to do something eternal. Don't waste it on ogling girls and eve teasing; don't waste it in playing internal office politics or any such pettiness. Just don't waste being MEN.

And ladies, you are the creator of generations, the nurturer of your family, of your society, of your country. Help your country to raise a soldier in every family in any relation be it ' father, brother, husband or son, even friends. Have the heart to pledge your son to the country. Remember, you invest your moral values to your family, so rise above the shallow gossips of film industry and back bitching of your neighbors and invest yourself in the training of a new generation. If you cant give a soldier to the country ' give a soldier to the community in the shape of an ethical, moral human being, for, with millions of such beings, who can stop my country, your country, our country from being the best, in every positive sphere !!

Sounds crazy, eh?? Yes, I am. For my nation, no matter what it is, with all its flaws and all its goodness. For once, see it from my eyes (so what if I have weak vision and wear specs !!!) ' you will love this fanaticism.