Humor

A Toast to Women!

There is a sheer hopelessness in the elusiveness of the convergence between what goes on in your mind and what transpires in your reality and the ensuing universe. I may be a vocal and outgoing individual with dreams and hopes to change the world but there are as they say a million slips between the cup and the lip and so too my ideas of world domination may leave much to be desired when it comes to following up with them in person.

This does not by any means go to show that I lack any sort of gumption, guts or other colloquialism that indicates the existence of the circular male appendages. I do indeed possess said necessities and might I add mine are made of steel. However, I find that everytime I make a plan for world domination and saving /ridding the world of one evil at a time, I am rudely if not in an untimely interrupted by the genialness of mundane life, and the relationships that surround. I am rudely awoken by the whistling of my teapot, the ending beep of my wash cycle or indeed the alarm that accompanies a need to make a trip to the grocery store.

So I find myself making runs to contribute to cancer research in the midst of my timely grocery runs. That I indeed find myself attempting to save the world and save my bacon-attempting to salvage the poor and needy and salvaging what remains of my burning baking. Could I possibly do both?

Not if I am a woman, and not if I am a woman in a certain part of Asia, if I am to believe the millions who preach thus. My primary job is to take care of my family, in every which way other than meaning to support it through wage, for that it is a job for the man of the house-be it father, husband or son.

At this point I find myself raising my hand to ask a question. Might I be able to do both?

I hear scoffs, rebuttals and even some distant sounds that mimic encouragemt.

So I choose to completely ignore all said sounds and make some conclusions of my very own.

I do not seek permission to multitask my life, just as I do not seek permission to breathe my every breath. I am designed to undertake multiple tasks at the very same instant and I shall strive to fill my every living moment of every living day on this planet doing just the very same. For my life does start and end only whence I commence my breath and stop its intake - and at no point does it require dictation from any individuals or group of individuals no matter how close or dear they might be.

Therefore, wielding a pen in one hand, a spatula in the other, sipping my gin and tonic (or suitable poison of preference), and pointing a manicured nail in your direction from time to time, I ask you, Sir to kindly keep off the grass. Yes the grass that you have obviously been smoking since you have completely missed the entire century that has passed since the end of women’s suffering and the dawn of women’s sufferage. For I, Sir, am a strong independent woman who chooses to fill her cup to the brim, have her cake and eat it too and live with a foot in each realm and sometimes more. I therefore thank those who support my role as person I have become, am indebted to those who have shaped me thus and ask those who stare at me in contempt to take a number - for I shall deal with you once I am done being awesome. This may take a while. I suggest you bring a book or 100.

11-Jan-2015

More by :  Payal Kapur


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