Despite warnings from his guide an American skiing in Switzerland got separated from his group and fell uninjured into a deep crevasse. Several hours later, a rescue party found the yawning pit , and to reassure the stranded skier, shouted down to him:

"We're from the Red Cross".

"Sorry the imperturbable American echoed back, "I have already donated at your Office".
 

American Pride

Sir Mortimer Wheeler (1890-1976), the great British Geologist once went to an eating house in New York, which claimed that they could provide you with any preparation on earth just for the naming (continental, Indian, English, American, Chinese, African etc.), and if they failed to do so they would pay 100 dollars to the person who ordered it.

Knowing this he wanted to show down the American pride. As the waiter approached him he ordered, "Get me giraffe neck sandwiches".

After some time the waiter reappeared with a plate on which was placed a 100 dollar note.

Sir Wheeler (triumphantly) said, "So after all you could not provide the giraffe neck".

The waiter replied, "No Sir, we have run out of bread".
 

Englishman's Principles

There is nothing so bad or so good that you will not find an Englishmen doing it. But you will never find an Enlishman in the wrong. He does everything on principle.

He fights you on patriotic principles; he robs you on business principles; he enslaves you on imperial principles; he supports his King on royal principles; and cuts off his King's head on republican principles.