Nov 21, 2024
Nov 21, 2024
Though I have become more shockproof and accustomed to the new gen-life and relationships, certain preferences, decisions, and shifted values on life certainly look weird if not shocking. Well, I agree that husband and wife relationships have several layers and are based on many qualities, the prime being ‘trust’.
In all the cases I looked at, not just the ‘trust’ is lost but several other compromises are made on both sides to substantiate their decisions. Surprisingly, these happen most of the time due to the strain, self-esteem, and escalating bitterness between the husband and wife.
I just pick up certain cases I have come across which are not very convincing to me, yet they have happened. A modern couple I met a few years back in a friend’s house looked a bit odd to me even at the outset because the man looked moody and a guy of very few words whereas the wife was social, talkative, and also carried a thin veil of arrogance too. After a few months when I asked my friend about them out of sheer curiosity, they said they had parted though it was considered to be a love marriage; the surprise came with their addition of the line that still both are friends and meet each other.
Another friend’s daughter, well qualified and holding high office said to have walked out on her husband and both have said to be parted on mutual consent. Neither of them revealed the reason even to their respective parents though. It is suspected that she found her husband is also ‘gay’. Surprisingly, it was a love marriage and inter-caste. Sharing a man with another woman has been part of Indian ethos and culture from time immemorial but not with another ‘man’, you see!
Again, two couples walked away in different directions with reasons best known to them only while in one case the man mentioned that mistakes are there on both sides. That way he is rather generous. Yet another well-educated girl divorced her husband for his least interest in sex and she too is not interested in it. Then why married? Both say ‘Parents’ compulsion’.
I was literally taken aback when one of my colleagues mentioned his son abroad had to divorce his wife because she was interested only in higher studies and not in cooking. This happened nearly a decade ago.
In yet another case, the girl is such a beauty with brains, she as well as her parents themselves are negating several proposals from suitors with reasons like ‘stupid’ to someone an inch shorter than her in height.
A highly qualified professor in a prestigious institution leads a solitary life with his little daughter while his wife has shifted to a foreign country leaving both, probably due to her top-ranking position in a multinational bank.
These are some examples where I am somewhat aware of those wild reasons; there are several others for which I don’t even know the strong reason for divorce or desertion.
Gone are the days of the popular Tamizh adage ‘Even he is a stone or grass, he is my husband’. Nevertheless, it is better to leave instead of living together showing enmity, and swallowing insults with unbearable frustration.
I am no advocate of teaching or professing morality or individuals’ decisions. All are good as long as they don’t have children. If so, my sympathies definitely go to the children, if they have, since they need to understand the complexity of their parent’s true relationship. In the present-day world, nothing could be more challenging than bringing up a boy or girl as a single parent.
Image (c) istock.com
24-Feb-2024
More by : G Swaminathan