“Remember, conflict is created, but harmony is the real order of the universe”—the Buddhist monk's audience appeared merged in silence.

Conflict is fundamental to human living. Wars, loot, bloodletting, killings, and as such brutal use of force are various forms of conflict, and sadly, everything begins from conflict.

Let’s take the instance of marriage, which is the simplest way to begin a conjugal life. 

To lay the foundation of life we marry. Do we?

Two lines from the immortal classic of Saint Tulsi Das- “Sundara Kand”- are worth quoting.

“kama, crodha, lobha, mada, moha, Mastya sab Natha narka key Pantha”
“Yehi je parihari jo hari bhaja hi sey eka santa” 

Roughly transliterated;

“Lust, anger, greed, liquor, attachment, egoism are the straight paths to Hell”,
“A true saint is a person, who has abdicated all these hellish qualities and lived by uttering the names of God”.

How do those self-destructive attributes are present in the institutional values of marriage?

For that one needs to observe deeply.

As the classical quote goes, “Marriages are made in heaven”.

Imagine a mandap, the imaginary heaven, where a marriage is solemnized.

The teary-eyed grave mien of the bride and the lusty glances of the groom at her body ensure the presence of “Kama”, meaning the emanating restless sexual energies of her man.

“Krodha” meaning anger also makes its presence felt with the constant bickering between the “barati” (groom’s following in the procession of the marriage), and the bride’s relatives.

When the groom’s followers throw their tantrums for a grand reception, the bride’s relatives are shell-shocked by the unfolding pandemonium cast by music, and dance by the slobbering drunken members in the procession. 

At times, the bands, music, and dance in the flow of hard liquor wreak havoc (read Tandav) before the ceremonies for the marriage begin.

So, anger is palpable in the grim moments before marriage.

Does anyone find “Lobha” (greed) in the gathering for marriage?

Wait until marriage is solemnized and the bride gets ready to leave in the company of her groom.

Then begin the angry glances and flaring of tempers for dowries.

The groom’s parents hope that jewelry, cash household articles, and vehicles, will make their house abundant.

The avarice for dowries is never-ending.

“Madda” means hard liquor that adds spice to the whole farce in marriage.

And what role does “Moha (attachment) play in the drama?

Ironically, “Moha” is an inseparable tie that knots the two mortals in this celestial nuptial bond.

Last but not least, let’s talk about the role of “Mastya” or “egoism” in the complete play of marriage.

Although scriptures prescribe that bride and groom are equals, the truth is starkly different.  

A groom is a man and, therefore, superior and deserves self-esteem. He is always preemptive about his ego satisfaction. 

In an ego-abiding relationship, minds never mate sans the consummation of marriage.

From time immemorial mankind has made its best efforts to lay the foundation in the beginning of a relationship only through conflict; no matter what, harmony does not come into the picture.

This has continued for ages. With materialistic hankering trending in society, conflicts become cancerous resulting in the ultimate downfall of the families. 

Technology makes it worse. 

With new inventions and soaring cost of living, materialism rules the roost of everything. 

Conflicts are the natural outcomes desires and consequent demands. 

“Ignore and do away with the short circuits that will bring in its wake conflicts. Only following of truth can bring harmony”- the spell-bound audience of the Buddhist monk heard this in brooding silence. 

Harmony is not achieved unless you are a follower of truth.

Conflict takes place on account of invested self-interests.

The future looks bleak with the onset of rising conflicts and suicides. In the future, mass suicides will be a standard feature. 

The mindset to change and adapt to terms of harmony would bring in the best life changes.