We are living in a world which has become an impatient world. Today, the world expects instant gratification, and as a result impatience has become a modern curse. The advancements in technologies have enabled us to enjoy this privilege, which was not available to us in the past, making us to be patient in life.

With the boon of remote control in our hand we have lost our ability to be patient.

We have all become citizens of the world of inpatients. We have invented remote control devices, instant coffees, instant noodles, instant meals, instant pots, plus search engines for all questions, entertainment on demand and many more methods, plus apps and devices for instant gratification.

With the newer tech voice assistants as “Siri” we don’t have to type our queries, instead we can just talk and ask whatever we wish to know. With the plethora of new technical advancements and developments, it has made us more technically savvy, but the price that we have paid is making us impatient.

The result is our ability to wait is waning fast, if not already extinct, while our ability of instant gratification is multiplying. We are ready to come to blows or even resort to guns when we are denied instant gratification. The print and digital media news coverage daily confirms this new reality of life.

It has been proven by a study in 2023, led by Asst. Prof. David Jangraw at the University of Vermont, that the average person’s mood got steadily worse every minute they sat doing nothing. In fact, the challenge of being patient has become so daunting that we often recoil in a way that actually only aggravates the present situation.

How many car accidents have we seen as a result of impatient driving. I can count myself as one of such culprits. Impatience can lead to speeding, ignoring other traffic signs, running red lights and stop signs, tailgating, illegal lane changes, and even road rage, all of which can cause collisions. One driver’s impatience can result in multiple patients in hospitals. Sometimes even sitting at home can also cause one to become victim of impatient driver, when their property is hit by the uncontrolled car. Besides car transportation we can find a similar pattern in other modes of transportation from slowest as walking to fastest as air travel.

Author Jon Kabat-Zinn in his book Full Catastrophe Living says, “Patience is a form of wisdom,” he writes, “It demonstrates that we understand and accept the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time.” He has also said, “The attitude of patience can be a particularly helpful quality to invoke when the mind is agitated.”

When we look around in nature we find everything works patiently according to its precise development cycles. There are no shortcuts or instant results. But man in his exception state wants instead gratification. Even when we look at children we notice they need smart phones in their hands in order to eat, play or even to comb their hair, plus to keep them from getting bored. Imagine by the time they become adults they will be so dependent on them, like the crutches - indispensable. We are getting a new generation of inpatients taking over the world soon. To them, waiting has come to symbolize frustration, suffering or even failure to adopt appropriate technology. In the age of instant gratification, we are not getting as many opportunities to wait as the earlier generations had.

Guru Nanak Ji in Japji Sahib has asked us to develop patience of a goldsmith with these words “Dheeraj suniaar”. Because the word “Suniaar” which mean goldsmith has to be extremely patient have “Dheeraj”. It is this quality which enables him to craft exquisite and beautiful gold jewelry. He understands that he is working with the most precious metal and highly malleable. The goldsmith has to be precise how much heat and where it is to be applied, along with how strong the blow of the hammer should be plus where blow has to be applied. These skills have been honed patiently with a long practice plus learning from mistakes. If he does get the desired results, he patiently keeps repeating the process till he is able to impart the desired shape and form.

Guru Arjan Dev Ji has compared the trait of patience in the enlightened to the qualities of earth. Because whether the earth is dug up or it is eulogized, it remains patient, totally unaffected by either situation. It is probably for the same reason earth has been called mother earth, because it has patience like that of a mother. Guru Ji says:

“Braham gyanee kai dheeraj ek.
Jiau basudhaa kouoo khodhai kouoo chandhan lepp.”
– (SGGS, Pg. No. 272)

Translation: The God-conscious being has a steady (unwavering) patience (to either praise and scorn), like the earth, which is dug up by one, and anointed with sandal paste by another.

Guru Ji wants us to cultivate patience, which is considered as virtue.

Here are a few practical suggestions from psychologists – Prof. Sarah Schnitker, Baylor University; Prof. Jenny Taitz, Asst. Prof. University of California, Los Angeles; Prof. Emeritus Thomas Lynch, University of Southampton, UK;.

1. The cultivation of patience can only start with a pausing, identifying and realizing that trait of impatience.

2. The first step will be to learn to treat waiting time as a positive activity, rather than something to avoid at all costs. Waiting period should not imply suffering or a failure to adopt the appropriate technology.

3. Waiting may feel painful when we become predisposed to seeking control. But we have to learn and strengthen our ability to wait. We have to treat the wait time as a sweet spot where we feel calm, because we know that we are still engaged in pursuing the important things in life.

4. When we find yourself in a situation that requires patience, ask ourselves if there is something that I might need to learn here? This approach was developed by Dr. T. Lynch is called Radical Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

5. Attempt to seek out challenges that provoke impatience. An example could be waiting patiently for the non-vital medical report to be delivered, instead of being proactive by accessing it immediately online as soon as it becomes available.

6. Let us not forget the proven method of daily meditation. Through meditation we can slowly learn to let go of our own sense of impatience. Thus, the outcome is becoming more patient. Through meditation practice we engage in mindfulness practice, and we will need a healthy dose of patience to keep going.

Guru Arjan Dev Ji says when we become totally patient in life, he experienced that his mind and body were soothed and calm:

“Mun tun seetal dheeraj paiaa.” – (SGGS, Pg. No. 98)

Translation: My mind and body have been cooled and soothed (the heat of desires and wants abated); I have been blessed with patience and composure.

References:

1. Patience is Power online
2. Taitz, Jenny. Impatience Is Our Modern Curse, But there are ways to beat it. The Wall Street Journal, July 27-28, 2024.
3. Naveteur, Janick, et Al. Impatience and time pressure: Subjective reactions of drivers in situations forcing them to stop their car in the road.
4. SikhToTheMax
5. Kabat-Zinn, Jon. The Mindful Attitude of Patience.

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