Random Thoughts
The Nature’s Gender Bias & its Value
Whether it is India or the most developed and outlandish western population, nature itself has created a gender bias; like the woman has to bear the fetus and deliver the child. The pleasure or the pain of child bearing can never be felt by any man or for that matter any woman who is barren and that itself creates a big void. The birth of the child and the upbringing of it is definitely is no mean a job. Probably, the bearing and delivery takes only ten months and the rest of the years till the child becomes a major and takes his/her own decisions (in India even here there are lot of interferences from the parents!) the parents both father and mother become responsible.
In any growth, the formative years are very important; so a mother or a person who spends the maximum time with the growing kid normally becomes attached to it and vice versa. These years are the crucial for the parents especially the mom and the child. In olden days, women never aspired for a career life and household was her main job. A good home maintenance is as important as a professional life; but it is sad that unfortunately no woman gets paid for it or recognized. We know many women who were good in womanly arts like music, dance, writing or painting sacrificed it for the sake of family or children or other responsibilities and conditions trusted on them. The maximum recognition they used to get is if they are good ‘cooks’ and good ‘looks’.
But the days have changed now; women have grown bolder and more focused. An engineering graduate with an IT job cannot be expected to sacrifice her profession just because she is a woman and for the sake of children, husband and family. Why, the husband himself will not be willing his wife to leave the lucrative job. The working moms of today also do not hesitate to juggle between the profession and home.
Leaving a profession or passion for the sake of children or family is definitely a personal decision. The other factors hardly have any role to play. No society accepts a ‘house husband’ like they accept a ‘house wife’ without a smirk. No woman on earth will be kind enough to tell her husband to take care of the children and daily chores if she draws more salary than the husband. In India, in fact, husband and his job are symbols of prestige. When there is even discrimination in the jobs, how can one expect woman to dominate as the head of the family openly even if she does in a discreet manner?
There is nothing wrong for a man in sharing the house hold chores with the sisters, mothers or wives. I am stating this because not every one who shares this types of ‘womanly job’ with the good intention of helping them, at times, land up in trouble in the later part of their life. Some women turn into albatross by exploiting the situation by completely pushing all responsibilities on the man. This is not a preposterous theoretical premise; a real one which I myself faced in life.
Life is made of mixed feelings and attitudes. One man’s food is another’s poison. It is a general rule that women are good in housekeeping and child upbringing because of their patience, tolerance, diligence and inherent kindness. But all these rules also have exceptions. It is therefore, better for an individual woman to decide on what she expects and how she can achieve that rather than go in for a generic view or approval from all sections.
After all, every individual has the right to live as he/she likes.
17-May-2010
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G Swaminathan
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