We're all getting older. There are rewards and trade-offs, but there is also loss. Pretending it's not there can leave us unable to make the transition, and unexpectedly depressed. This is a culture that rewards youth and beauty, and it is unlikely to change anytime soon.

Having laid out that truth, I can counter it with the incredible pleasures that come with the deepening of self that is part of long life-experience: self-knowledge, stronger values, a sense of personal honor, awareness of competence, independence, freedom from competition...all are wonders of getting older.

Research on "HAPPINESS SCALES" indicates that if your health remains, your happiest years are the sixties and seventies. There are many reasons cited, but t he one that stands out is t hat there is no one left to push you around. Some of us reach sixty before we feel we truly run our own lives.

The key is just that: running your own life. If you continue to live by others' expectations or your culture's definition of your worth, ageing will be hell. Put some energy into deciding what you want to do.

Create an image of yourself ten years into the future. Make it a decade filled with possibilties instead of losses.