Nov 21, 2024
Nov 21, 2024
In day to day personal life and at work place, I have often noticed how people routinely make excuses with their spouses, relatives, friends, superiors, equals and subordinates on false pretexts to skip a responsibility, meet, avoid a situation or to cover their delays and inefficiencies. Way back from my memories working at Meerut, I recall this gentleman who had a tendency or habit of never divulging with his true intentions and details of his moves or whereabouts even in most harmless and routine situations. He will do the same with me too whom he claimed to be a good friend. On many occasions, he landed up in trouble or embarrassing situations due to his habit but apparently he had no shame or repentance for his acts so he never improved.
Then there is this recently retired colleague of mine from a high office. On face, he was extremely polite and overly courteous with every one including those in lower echelon. But he used to play his cards very cleverly (or cunningly!). On files he will seldom write other than just signing it, and if he wants a particular line or approach to be adopted for a decision, he will call subordinates to withdraw the file informally and put up it again on a particular line. Then for any achievement or good work done, he will try to garner all credit and appreciation to his account, and if something goes wrong, he will try to pass buck on his colleagues and subordinates with no shame attached whatsoever. I recall on many occasions he would request me to attend or preside a certain meet or gathering on the excuse that he had to attend another important meeting or appointment elsewhere. Then I would come to know by sheer chance that he is (or was) sitting in his own office room during the period with no such meeting or appointment scheduled.
I often ponder as to why people resort to such false excuses and tactics and what actually they achieve out of it. As I understand if you resort to one untruth or false excuse, this often unleashes a chain of untruths or false excuses to justify or cover earlier one. Moreover, one gets exposed so soon in the environment, even though many people will not tell on face. On the other hand, being truthful is so simple and straight that you don’t have to look for cover and excuses subsequently. At times a truth might be momentarily unpleasant for some yet it pays and sustains your credibility in the long run. For instance, if a person seeks your assistance or favour in some context and you are not in a position to do it, if you let him know he might be disappointed for the moment but understand it in due course because it is a for better option than making false promises to drag it for long with a series of more assurances without doing or getting needful done.
But then this relates to the personal ethics and value system of the person. We often talk or hear about the Karma (cause and effect) and the reprisals of sinful acts in this world or on rebirth. Notwithstanding, many people keep on doing it lifelong with no repentane or shame attached and sail through it without any significant loss, at least from their point of view. So it is a matter of personal choice if you want to be straight and truthful or manipulative and ready to do anything to further your interests and goals in life.
I absolutely agree with you, Raghvan Ji. You have rightly observed - 1) if you are telling truth you don't have to remember things, and 2) in order to hide one lie one is often required to tell several lies (Despite that he remains under constant fear...). By virtue of my own experience, I have observed on several occasions that when you express your inability, the person initially shows some disappointment but in most of the cases, he soon realizes your truth and then starts appreciating your spirit and credibility. Sorry for this much belated response... |
Jaipal, Nice thoughts. I see two messages here. It is simple to be truthful and straight forward. There is saying that "if you are telling the truth you don't have to remember anything". It is also said that in order to hide one lie one may need hundred lies. Another message is that "learn to say no"..As you have put it rightly under some obligation we hesitate to say no and make unrealistic promises Thanks .. raghavan |