In any relationship, it is possible to find evidence that suggests the relationship will thrive or evidence that predicts it just won't work. Even the strongest, best relationships experience problems that suggest it mught not last. And even in the most tenous relationships, there are reasons to think it just might work well.

The real question is which evidence you pay more attention to. Constant attention to the weaknesses of any relationship will weaken it. Constant attention to the strengths of any relationship will strengthen it.

In an experiment performed with couples who were experiencing conflict, half of the couples were asked to discus the best part of their relationship and half to discuss the worst aspect of their relationship.

Couples discussing the positive side of their relationship reduced their stress level by 15 percent, while couples discussing the negative side saw their stress level increase 48 percent.