In a vat filled with foamy rubber I sat, it was night when I plunged down the massive Niagara falls. Camera shy, tourists had gone home, no one around to record my attempt to be the first and survive. Further down the river the vat firmly fastened between two wet rocks, I opened its lid scampered out and it was dawn; a fawn saw me as did a rabbit and a moose. Walked for hours came to a rural town, had a beer and was arrested for being at the wrong side of the river, and for rolling down a waterfall when I had not obtained permission from the department that issues vat licenses. Thus my epic record was disqualified; no fame for Johnnie, not hard feelings, but I know I was the first man to do this and survive.
